Separating Inevitable

[littleGTO]

How will he miss "us/me" if his emotional needs are being met from OW?

OW has own 2 young children and has filed for D. Soon she will be completely available to my H (as she still lives w her H). I'm scared that my H will find this timing in his favor of her "needing him." After all he seems to be her knight in shining armor (apparently her H was verbally abusive for years).

I don't see how jumping from our family to a whole new family will fulfill his need to "find himself" and to get away from some of the things he has claimed to be unhappy with--family demands and schedules, homework, housework, etc.

Here's a question I have that I'm wondering about...if this is about being unhappy (presumable with our M) then WHY it is he has also detached from his own boys and seems unhappy with being a dad too?

ANother question--my H has been concerned he hasn't grieved his mom really since her death 2 months ago. His new C said that he may have grieved her enough while she was really sick this summer and maybe he didn't have the NEED any more.

His parents gave him the advice to cut off communication w OW and try to save his M/go back to his family. He was somewhat close to his mom...I find it hard to believe he would be at peace having a life w OW knowing it was not his mom's final wish. Although she did say she wanted him to be happy...so he may interpret this to mean no matter what his decision.

One more thing...the sexual email he sent to OW that spurred her H to storm into our driveway and pound on our door...OW's H showed it to HER parents, so I can't imagine what they think of my H---definitely not future in-law material, I wouldn't think. Not to mention the nightmare he will live if he is in her life & has to deal with her soon-to-be EX in encounters in the future.

One final/constant thought on my mind--when he send the "open emails to her" (the day of that he stopped outside of work comm w her) he said to her/read to me, "My feelings for you have not changed- I still love you. ANd, no, I'm not in love with my wife." H looked and me and said, "I'm sorry, it's true. There's just something missing now." That hurts me to the core.

I have to keep in mind what you said, Another Stander:
"Emotions are running the show and logic and reason are on vacation." So no matter how I try to justify why he SHOULDN'T be with / choose OW it is not necessarily how he's thinking.