Let him pursue...sit back and keep doing what you were doing. 5k's, new friends, keep enjoying life.
Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
I am ashamed to admit that even after 2 years, I let myself to get a little hopeful.
I need to get my head examined.
Not at all, that is nothing to be ashamed of!! There's nothing wrong with hope, it's what drives all of us on these forums. Having hope after 2 years is not something to be ashamed of, it's a testament to your moral character and the high value you place on M.
I like what Eric said, the first step should be friendship. If your H brings this up again, tell him you're open to being friends for now and you can foster that friendship and see where it goes. Since it's been 2 years it's almost going to be like dating someone new for both of you. Approach it like you would a new love interest.
I haven't seen your old thread, was/ is your H MLC? If so then he may just now be emerging from the tunnel. I'm not an expert on MLC, but I've read some of Cadet's info and if this is the case he may be in and out of the tunnel for a while before he finally comes to grips with what he wants. This might explain his reaching out and then sudden silence, he's ducked back into the tunnel for now.
Update. STBX is here today to see the Girls and work around the house. When he gets here he asks where the Girls were, I tell him they are still at school they get home in half an hour, he shocks me by asking if I want to have sex !! I was so shocked. I was speechless. I said that wouldn't be right on so many levels...he is still living with his GF. I said but most if all that wouldn't be right for/to me. He sat down then and we actually had a conversation. Something he wasn't very good at before. He said again how he misses us. He isn't happy. He is willing to do the work to come back. He realizes his mistakes he made in the marriage.
I told him this would take time and be a lot of work. Work I wanted us to do before he left we would have to so now.
I don't know how things will end yet, if we will give it another try. I hope I gave him some things to think about and consider.
I'll continue sitting back and keeping my eyes open to see if he is really ready to put in the work.
He did give me a kiss right before the girls got home, i didnt stop him. A nice long kiss. First kiss in years.
Me:43 H:43 T:20 YRS M:15 YRS Bomb: 6/9/08 Bomb#2 7/6/10 Served with papers at work 7/13/10 DD:14, DD:11
Update. I'll continue sitting back and keeping my eyes open to see if he is really ready to put in the work.
That sounds very wise, Shelby. Well done for keeping your boundaries. Does he still say he's going to move in with his mother? It sounds as if you enjoyed the kiss
Me: 51 H: 52 T: 23 yrs M: 19 yrs S18, D16, S14 (special needs) PA: 2003/2004 Piecing: 2004 on Suspect H had EA: 8/2012-12/2012
Yes. He mentioned again moving in with his mom. In think he is nervous about it. Not because she would say no, I know she wouldn't. I think he is just nervous to ask because then it is admitting he was wrong and also being a 45 year old man moving in with his mother can't be the most proud moment.
Me:43 H:43 T:20 YRS M:15 YRS Bomb: 6/9/08 Bomb#2 7/6/10 Served with papers at work 7/13/10 DD:14, DD:11
Very good how you responded. He has to invest a lot more work until he should be allowed to reach the "last stage" again. Just stay detached and focus on yourself and your daughters.
So you think he is sure he wants to let go of OW/GF? I'm just wondering if he is trying to figure out if you'll have him back before he decides whether to make the break with OW.
Me: 51 H: 52 T: 23 yrs M: 19 yrs S18, D16, S14 (special needs) PA: 2003/2004 Piecing: 2004 on Suspect H had EA: 8/2012-12/2012
And as much as that idea excites me it also scares me. Because to him it maybe just sex but to me it would mean opening up my heart again. I have to do this slow. I can't afford to get hurt again by him.
But if I tell him that will be get fed up with Persuing me ??? I don't want that either.
Plus that wouldn't make me any better than the OW he is living with now.
Am I right. Ugh. Help !!
Me:43 H:43 T:20 YRS M:15 YRS Bomb: 6/9/08 Bomb#2 7/6/10 Served with papers at work 7/13/10 DD:14, DD:11
