I personally like 4 also! All this talk of thongs, lingerie, lace, and panties is really getting to me!
Seriously though, go with your gut. What seems the most difficult? If you really want to find out how he is doing, the difficult thing would be to wait until he contacts you. Reading what you said earlier, maybe he isn't ready to contact you because of this subject?
If you do contact him, maybe make it way more casual. Hey, how's it going? Did you see whatever movie, go to whatever restaurant or small talk? I would guess this dark time is good, means he is thinking and processing.
If he wasn't considering things, you would have recieved a call either way right? Let the OW hang herself with the extra rope you have given.
