Back to Square One?

[Wendylon]

Thank you, Tori. It's really nice to know that other partners can do some of the same infuriating things. It's so nice to be able to depersonalise the behaviour somehow. That's one the things I love about this board: seeing all the similarities in our sitches and knowing about some of the scripts that seem to be in play (ILYBINILWY).

I'm still feeling more positive about my sitch.

I wasn't sure whether or not H would be home for supper today as we hadn't discussed it. I had zero expectations and I knew that I'd have a nice evening regardless of whether or not he would be home. However, he was home when I got back and we had a nice supper with S17. We've just watched an episode of The Good Wife with no flossing. H didn't bolt out of the TV room quite as quickly as he usually does.

He didn't go to my friend's private viewing (he'd missed Wednesday's and tonight was the second chance and he'd said he was going) but I didn't say anything. My normal response would have been to say, "Why haven't you gone to friend's private viewing? You told her you were going tonight so you should. Nothing unexpected has come up since you said you would go so you have to go". Basically, I'm trying not to follow up on topics, which is a major 180 for me. Usually, I let nothing drop and hate it when he behaves inconsistently.

Earlier today, H told me how he got caught up in lying to the Head at S13's school to protect someone who is leaving the school and wants to work with H. I felt really critical and thought that it was so typical of H to lie and for that to get him in trouble. My 180 was to listen and not give him a lecture. I did say a couple of things about it but with more detachment than usual and then didn't follow it up. He volunteered the information this evening that he'd seen the Head again today and had come clean with her and that she really appreciated it. I congratulated him on sorting out the problem.

The weird thing is that I started by acting as if I felt fine regardless of H a few weeks ago and I'm now genuinely starting to feel as if my contentment isn't dependent on him. It is so freeing and we are definitely getting on better. He doesn't seem as allergic to me.

Funnily enough, it feels as if S17 is also less allergic to me. I've also been dropping the rope with him and it's paying off. In many ways, H and S17 react to me in similar ways. It's really nice to see them both softening a bit towards me.

I have zero expectations of H wanting to have much to do with me this weekend and that's fine. D15 and S13 aren't back until Sunday evening and I'm just going to enjoy a quiet life with few stressors over the next couple of days.