Need some hope.

[jendp]

Nina, thanks for your reply to my posts. I can really relate to your story, with no kids and living apart it is easy to loose hope and think that things will not change because there is so little contact.

The thing that worked for me was, of course, GAL and focusing on my own life. I have read so many books and this forum for inspiration which has opened my eyes and helped me grow from this experience. I don't know your beliefs, but I am reading scripture and talking/crying to God at length everyday which is absolutely the most beneficial for me. It is such a comfort and I feel that I have gained so much strength and peace knowing God is always there for me. I have family and friends but there is so much I don't want to share with them yet, so I just give it all over to God because he is always listening. I used to have nightmares or wake up crying, and I would immediately start talking to God and asking for peace of mind and heart -- it worked for me.

I was a nervous wreck until the first time he called me (over a month after he left) and after that it got better. I realized that nothing I said would ever change his mind and bring him back, he would have to deal with his feelings and decide on his own. The most powerful thing was when I realized that I was genuinely happy with myself and my positive personal progress, and I accepted that I was going to be OK whether he came back or not. This was when I detached.

Of course I still want him back and I'm continuing the DB strategies, but I don't feel that same pain and sadness that killed me in the beginning. Now I feel confident in myself and I feel like he is the one missing out if he doesn't come back to the marriage.

Good luck and keep your head up!! I agree with what others have told me, he is giving you the gift of time now so use it wisely and work on positive changes in yourself. It does get easier.