Ya, it is ironic how we don't want our WAS to act on their feelings of the moment, but so tempting for us on our side...guess that's why we get to be the mature ones and delay gratification.
That trembling maybe also from anxiety, in addition to the drinking and not sleeping. When W came back to the bed some time ago I would notice that even though asleep her hands and feet would tremble, this correlated to her reported and behavioral anxiety...and it seems they have a lot of that with their minds racing, running, spinning, escaping. At times it was so bad it kept me awake thinking "if I put a quarter in her could I get the whole bed to do that like the old motels from my youth?"
And this is happening now, so I know she's got the anxiety again. Nice to have a "state" measurement without having to actually ask...helps show "giving space".
You sound like you are doing great, and those "done" feelings help us detach and move forward, even if we don't act and wait a bit longer...
T^2
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
