Kicking a$$ and taking names!

[reachingHigher]

T, I treasure your posts; I soak up everything you say on all the threads.

Today I don't feel like standing. I'm feeling so DONE with H today! I know we can't go on our day-to-day feelings...just like we don't want our spouses to....but it's SUCH a great feeling! Maybe tomorrow I'll feel differently. I'll stand anyway, even if I don't feel like it!

H is on this vacation, and of course posted on FB some drinking pics already. His older, first cousin, who ADORES me, and I'm sure has NO idea of what is going on with H & me, posted "what are you doing there, H?". H says, "I'm vacationing with friends, cousin".

I can't imagine a more boring vacation, just drinking all the time with his two guy friends for a week and a half. No wonder H cried every time he mentioned this vacation! I don't even want to let my mind go where evil lurks with alcohol and late night parties and friends that are not in committed R's.

Makes it SO much easier to detach knowing I cut off ML nearly a month ago.

I also can't imagine the emotional mess H will be in when he gets back. I need to be fully ready for anything from him.

Last time I saw him I mentioned I noticed a trembling in his hands in the last month or so. I didn't say anything when I first saw it, which was while we were eating together. But as he was trembling a slight bit while holding me I thought I should mention it. He said he had noticed it and thought it related to alcohol and sleep deprivation. I said that was good because those were both things he could control.

I'm planning a good weekend. Maybe a hike with the boys in a nearby NWR. S12 came running inside a couple of hours ago to point out the migrating sandhill cranes, a big favorite of our family, each fall.

Also, a live concert Sunday evening for me.

For those reading this that are newbies, the nights DO get better. I just look at night now as an obstruction between evening and morning. It's rarely the agony that it had been. I do have a bad one once in a while, but it's not the norm. And when I have a bad day (I felt very melancholy yesterday) I just put stuff off and pamper myself, knowing that the next day will be better.