Andrew, IC's usually do the same drill: "tell me how you feel, and tell me about your past, and now I'll tell you that you have to do bc you've got a life to live." They usually recommend quitting on our hopes for our M's. I think a lot of them do more damage than good. It was bc of my IC that I wrote a lot of stuff on my journal, that my H searched for and found. He took pictures of every page that he would later show to the OW. I felt like crap every time I left the IC's office.
That said, I do agree that you should GAL more, and that you do tend to care more of others than of yourself. I think it's a personality trait, which I also have. BUT I've learned to do a lot more for myself lately. Don't try to overanalyze things. I would just take action and start doing fun stuff for yourself. You'll feel good. Keep DBing and take the IC's words for what they are: advice from someone who is only starting to know you. You know yourself best.
I don't know if I helped. But I do know you are a great guy and you should be proud of yourself for all the love you're pouring into your M (whether you can save it or not.)
