Quote: He can rationalize it all he wants, but the time in his life when he began thinking that way was horribly destructive--he became someone no one recognized--
I see this in my H too. In fact, I saw his brother's wife for dinner last week (we have stayed in touch) and she told me she and H's brother have concluded that he is NOT the same person....kind sad...he was once such a nice guy!!
Quote: we haven't had a truly negative interaction in longer than I can recall.
I thnk that says alot for YOU!! I know we have been in situations over the past year where I have said to myself..."the old me would have done this (something impulsive and not so good for dbing) but I am now doing this (something I learned from dbing). Our H's HAVE to have noticed this...not sure if they know what to make of it all, though!
Quote: So...what do you do when you've drawn them back... and they keep running away on you? I really don't think I'm all that scary.
My theory is that there are still feelings there but they are afraid to feel them becuase that might negate their stand on the D...what do you think??
Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.... (thoreau)
I know we have been in situations over the past year where I have said to myself..."the old me would have done this (something impulsive and not so good for dbing) but I am now doing this (something I learned from dbing). Our H's HAVE to have noticed this...not sure if they know what to make of it all, though! 
