Hello! First to answer the question posed in your thread title, you start piecing after you and your W have reconciled. Based on your post it sounds like you're nowhere near that point yet.
Originally Posted By: 7720
She did come over and had dinner with me and the girls the other week...she gave me a very long and passiontate hug..really surprised me...i did not say anything or pursue.
Good reaction.
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but since then there has been emotional distance...
Typical distance/ pursuit behavior.
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she often tells me she is old and going through perimenopause....
How do you respond? This is a good opportunity to be a great listener and to validate her emotions. Ask her how that makes her feel, sad? Frustrated? Then validate- "So this makes you sad, I can see that you feel sad and I'm sorry you feel that way, it must be very difficult to go through."
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I guess I need to sit back and wait...
Yes, detach. Have you read DR?
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it has been hard because when my D6 and d 8 are with my W they are often trying to figure how to come over here and call crying missing me...
What is your visitation schedule? Perhaps the intervals are too long. If you're doing 50-50 on weekly intervals for example, then you might talk to W about having a one day visitation in the middle of the week so the kids don't feel so separated. Both of you need to be flexible for the kids' sake. If they're not happy with the arrangement then change it.
