oh yes that is what i meant to write....they do miss her and love her but I guess it is not the same...for the last two years she has detached from the family and gone off and left me to do most everything....her background is that she was adopted as a baby by two professional people who felt that there work would be their legacy and spent most of their time working; they are scientist and everything is clinical for them...they are really nice people though---just not a whole lot of soul in them...they feel guilty for this and are now enabling their kids to try to make up for it...the youngest has never left the nest and is almost 40. and the oldest has come to mom and dad for money so many times it is not funny and then there is my W who is now being supported by Mom and dad even though she is 40...she has a little job but it is only about 12hrs a week, more for show than anything else. Granted my W parents want her to be able to make a living and support herself but...with the youngest still living at home and eating moms cooking everyday and having mom buy his clothes, I don't see them pushing too much...I live in an area where there are lots of trustfunders;so it is not that odd to a lot of people but it is to me.
But back to my D11 and my D6. My D6 was really quiet when I picked her up from school on the last day she had with me...the teacher asked me to find out what was bothering her because she spent the whole day in the safe area- a place that she has set up if a child needs to get away- and seemed sad about something. When we were walking home I asked her...what was wrong and she said she was sad to leave me for a week. She told the teacher that it was because she had too much milk...I guess the dilemma I have is that I am trying to stay away from my W and give her space but my D11 and D6 are doing everything to get me to stop by or come by and see me..I don't want to detach from them but at the same time what do I do...when D11 calls me and she is crying and does not want to get off the phone with me...I can her W in the background getting loud and singing or talking because it bothers her that they do this....Our C told us that we should have dinner one night a week at each house and spend the holidays together...is that too much? Would I not be giving my W enough space to miss me?
