25rsmlc, thanks. I did get W a card, simple nothing mushy etc. Wrote a short few sentences thanking W for coming into my life and did put that 'although it is a difficult time, I see our ann as something to remember'. When I gave it to her she broke down in tears, apologised she had not got me anything. I said I was not expecting anything. I told her I wld leave the card on the fireplace to read it in her own time if she wished. By the end of the next day sh still had not opened it so I removed it and have stored it somewhere safe. I removed as I did not want her to feel pressured into reading it. This was an incredibly bad sign tho. I am not sure how to read it. It makes me think of comments she made after BD that she wld not allow herself to be talked out of her decision. I think she may have seen a card as pressure. I know she is done with M so am not v surprised. As everone has said there truly is just me working on this.

So short answer is anniversary bombed! We rae getting along better but she is still intent on 'escaping' as she calls it! She keeps referring to me as her keeper, has stopped spending money out of our joint account cos she says it is not hers to spend etc. But we are getting along fine, have not spoken about her moving out (althouhg still def on her agenda)and even had the odd laugh together!

I have taken a couple of weeks off work to take S to and from school so she can go out on her dog walk in the mornings with her buddies. This is helping as it is her sanctuary.

I am using the time to up my gym sessions, get some yard jobs done before winter sets in, even got myself a suntan smile I'm looking better than I have done in years even if I say so myself wink.

I have been catching up on reading, DR again and a lot about MLC. I was surprised at the similarities to W and it scared me a bit. Detaching is making steady progress but a long way to go. I still need to up my GAL but I am making progress-i had forgotten how much me had been lost. I need to work on my personaility more - laughing more etc to maintain a positive vibe. This is easier when S is around!

I am getting to grips with patience hence me not posting every small detail here and trying not to read too much in the daily ups and downs.

Overall, I think I am in a better place than a couple of weeks ago, W generally seems happier which is good.

Thanks for the support again. I wld be interested in views re how the anniversary card went as I am seeing this as a v bad sign but trying my best not to let it derail me again.