Dating Stories

[kml]

Yeah, he's too broken. I'm not upset about it, though - really, I never let myself get too attached this time around, my expectations were at zero.

There's plenty of fish in the sea! I'm goin' fishin'!

[BeginningAgain]

Good luck with the date! I've got a one as well on Monday, after work. Height wise, exact opposite of yours - she's only 5'2" but has a beautiful smile and is cute as a button - at least her pictures are. Of course these online first date things are always a bit nervewracking to me and what you see on the computer isn't always what you get in person. However it makes life interesting...

BA

[kml]

Thanks BA.

I must say, I must have good instincts or something - I always hear about people meeting online dates who look nothing like their pictures, but all the guys I have met have pretty much looked like what I expected. (And they usually say I do too )

Unfortunately, though, I looked a little closer at this guy's profiles and noticed his answer to the question on his opinion on gay relationships was "never ok". Since I have a lesbian daughter, this may end up being a dealbreaker for me.

Ellie

[Golfgirl1]

I have found online dating to be interesting. B looks just like his pics and has the kindest eyes; however, they are also a bit "vacant" and that's possibly the problem.

I don't know, I haven't heard a peep from him since Sunday when we chatted and he told me he is struggling with letting someone in and he needs time to "sit on it for awhile." Okay...how long is awhile? Do I text him something? Sigh....this is the part of dating that stinks!!!

[25yearsmlc]

I have found online dating to be interesting. B looks just like his pics and has the kindest eyes; however, they are also a bit "vacant" and that's possibly the problem.

I don't know, I haven't heard a peep from him since Sunday when we chatted and he told me he is struggling with letting someone in and he needs time to "sit on it for awhile." Okay...how long is awhile? Do I text him something? Sigh....this is the part of dating that stinks!!!

YOU do not initiate contact w/him at all. It's in his court.

he said he wants space and imo, NO expectations of him.

So let him sit on it. Did you tell him you wanted a r? That seems to scare the men off pretty fast.

When h and i were separated i did date and used online for some of it.

I was only looking for pleasant companionship (though maybe internally I was open for more, I was still hoping my m would survive)

but the men seemed quite comfortable with my NOT wanting a serious r with them. They wanted more and they pursued me.

As much of a high school game as it may seem to be = and YES It is. Men still like the hunt and imo, they do not want to be pursued, in general...

and this guy pretty much told you to back off, so I would not be wondering when YOU contact him.

I'd move on... and if he calls, that's nice...if not, no biggie. There are a lot of men out there who DO want r's...and this guy already has a "vacant look"...

that says a lot.

[kml]

this was all after he had cancelled last Monday, Tuesday, and cut our Wed. dinner short.

So, today I called him en route to church and said I didn't feel 'wanted' this week and we had a real problem if an entire weekend could go by and we didn't spend any time together. I told him I could feel him pulling away from me this week. B said I was correct and he is struggling with figuring out how to let someone get close to him again. He thanked me for being honest and open and he needed to "sit" with what I had said for awhile.

Golfgirl - throw this fish back!!!

Seriously. When you posted this you'd only been dating him for three weeks. DEFINITELY too soon for you to be expecting him to behave like you were in a relationship. But also soon enough to see he wasn't pursuing you the way the RIGHT guy would be.

This guy isn't making time with you a priority (plus I wouldn't be surprised if the old army buddy didn't turn out to be an old girlfriend who showed back up).

But either way - you were way more into having an instant relationship with him, than he was into having one with you.

Get back out there and start dating other guys. This one's not for you. Don't make the same mistakes I made with Mr. Big Lots.

[BeginningAgain]

Agree - he's not the only fish in the sea, afterall you know what The Weather Girls say..."It's raining men..."

BA

[Golfgirl1]

Thanks 25yearsmlc,
Very good points. Nope, I'm happy to give him time, but I'm not waiting around. I am looking for a man who want a r and he'll find me! I'm just not too good about being patient, but that's another thing I continue to struggle with and need to work on.

SO, I think it's time I spend some time loving myself and figuring out why I keep attracting emotionally distant men. I have some theories and so do my friends, and it's obviously a lesson I need to learn before I can shift and move on the amazing man who is waiting for me.

[BeginningAgain]

Well I have a first meeting with another Match.com person. She seems well-balanced in her profile, pictures look cute. So I am cautiously optimistic - although these initial get togethers always feel like a job interview to a certain extent. Wish me luck!

[Rick1963]

Golfgirl. It is about the numbers. this one guy I know when on dozens of dates until he found someone he liked and eventually married. Guys don't want to be told on the 1st or 2nd date that they want a R. Especially if they have been divorced. It is scary. Date lots of people the right one will come along when you least expect it. And patience is paramount. Guys don't like a women that looks or acts desperate to be with someone. my 2cents