I think I see the picnic!

[2chiquitos]

Went to a church service w a friend. Felt good.

This was funny
H: Just wanted to let you know I won't be there tomorrow morning. You know it's Thurs so I am going straight to work. I won't be going over, ok?

Me: (giggling) yeah are YOU ok with that??

H: yeah...

[jks]

This is weird. I don't feel like posting on my sitch. I only feel like reading/writing on others. Possible sign of detachment??

I feel the exact same way. I don't want to dwell on it anymore. I've had a huge stepping stone detaching just this week. But I don't want to write about it... sad.

I just want to move forward.

Could be a good thing for you.

[mamabird]

Vero, it concerns me to hear you say you don't feel like doing things you usually enjoy. These are classic signs of depression. I am not a doctor but I'm an amateur one ;-) - seriously, though - these are signs of depression.

If you are still breastfeeding your daughter, you may want to consider weaning her and going on some meds. You need support and you need to be healthy and strong for those kids.

Honestly, I think it's good that you don't feel like posting about your sitch. You may have processed it to the point where you don't need to process any more. I'm posting 3, 4 times a day - somewhat compulsively - so clearly I got more work to do. I wish I didn't have to obsess on every GD little thing but at least I got a safe place to do that and I don't have to burden my poor mother more than once a day.

[2chiquitos]

I feel the exact same way. I don't want to dwell on it anymore. I've had a huge stepping stone detaching just this week. But I don't want to write about it... sad.

I just want to move forward.

YES! This is a huge stepping stone detaching for me as well. The one where I will write about my sitch and delete it because I'm even bored of this soap opera!

[2chiquitos]

Vero, it concerns me to hear you say you don't feel like doing things you usually enjoy. These are classic signs of depression. I am not a doctor but I'm an amateur one ;-) - seriously, though - these are signs of depression.

If you are still breastfeeding your daughter, you may want to consider weaning her and going on some meds. You need support and you need to be healthy and strong for those kids.

I spoke with IC on Mon and she said it was depression. It's been a while since I felt this way. And I agree I need meds but I'm so stubborn about nursing. I want to give it another 6mos, at least, before I quit. She's so attached and I will feel worse weaning her early.

I'd rather resort to other techniques before meds/weaning D1.


Honestly, I think it's good that you don't feel like posting about your sitch. You may have processed it to the point where you don't need to process any more. I'm posting 3, 4 times a day - somewhat compulsively - so clearly I got more work to do. I wish I didn't have to obsess on every GD little thing but at least I got a safe place to do that and I don't have to burden my poor mother more than once a day.

I agree. I think it's good thing. I'd rather post what my kids are doing or what I'm doing ;-)

[2chiquitos]

Today kids and I went on a playdate with a friend from S4s school. Mom and I have a lot in common. Both of us have D1s and S4s. Both our sons were born with medical problems and numerous ER visits and admits to Childrens Hospital and quite a few surgeries. We both know what it's like to almost lose your child (more than once). We both had to stop working to care for S4s. However she's still married.

I couldn't help but compare myself to her as we were talking. She is very mellow and calm. Very easy going. I was so obsessed about caring for S4. I took control of his medical needs and never asked H to help because I strongly believed I did a better job. Maybe I did, but I resented him for not helping. And I resented him for not obsessing like me.

I know the past is in the past but these thoughts came up.

I cried a bit when I asked her if her experience with her son has affected her marriage. She said it has but they were able to balance it out. Something H n I didn't do.

I came home feeling so emotionally drained and thought, man, I don't think she's gonna want another playdate with us since I was too open.

Funny, she text soon after and said we should do it again ;-)

Also, I got to thinking. I love my friends and family but I'm finding myself growing closer to my friends in Al Anon and the church and S4s school parents. Neither of these people know H and it's nice to be friends with people to don't attack him.

[2chiquitos]

with people who don't attack him

[labug]

vero, talk to another doctor. Are you on the alt yet? You're in the big city with lots of resources you don't have to wean unless that's your decision.

You can get info here http://www.postpartum.net/Get-Help/Suppo...California.aspx

And if I get banned for this, so be it.

[labug]

Vero, I was so obsessed about caring for S4. I took control of his medical needs and never asked H to help because I strongly believed I did a better job. Maybe I did, but I resented him for not helping. And I resented him for not obsessing like me. This is huge, now how can you use this to move forward?

[bustingout]

Vero (((()))) how are you doing? I am also concerned about you. so many feelings you are dealing with.

of course try to only surround yourself that you feel comfortable with. So if i is your friends from al anon, church or S4's friends' parents, so be it.

thinking of you Vero