3 years aftet D-Day and i finally registet

[25yearsmlc]

You should encourage him to love her that is his mother. The question is do YOU Ed want to deny her visitation? Do you think she is a good role model for your S right now? I know you said you cannot afford a lawyer but I really think that when it comes to your S and to your W's addiction and erratic visitation schedule that you need to do what is in his best interest and get a lawyers advice on this.

I see her as a part time mother and that's at best. She comes and goes in and out of his life as she pleases.

Well, are you saying that YOU can do nothing about that? Just hope she gets better??? Do something for your son and don't keep getting his hopes up for his alcoholic mom. I'm a 12 stepper myself (my kids were a big motifvator for me), and for the life of me, I cannot wrap my brain around how you don't see the denial YOU are in, and the enabling YOU are doing.

You control you. Stop the helpless routine. SEE A LAWYER AND MAKE SOMETHING HAPPEN LEGALLY so she cannot pick your son up and use drugs or drink when she's with him. I've seen moms have to pass drug tests to see their kids. And So what? That's not YOUR responsibility, it's hers.

SOME are willing to do it, some not. It reveals a lot.

I'm no child psychologist but this pattern cannot be good for him. He may appear ok to you but are you really sure he is ok? He needs some stability in his life. I don't know Ed but I think she needs to make a choice, it's either the party life or her S. If she cannot sober up for him then what does that tell you?

I really like and respect the very last sentence of yours.

I have had several free consultations with at least 3 attorneys after she moved out in February. Until there is a court order regarding custody, she "Legally" can have him or even take him anytime she wants to.

soooo, are YOU just sitting around waiting for HER to file so SHE can get him or what? Why aren't you protecting him from her?

My guess is that...FEAR controls you. What do you think?

I informed her that the most important thing he needs in his life is consistency and that the only thing consistent she has shown him is not being around very much for him.

what is "informing" her of this, supposed to achieve? It's just more words from you.

Ed

so, back to YOU and what you are going to do...

any thoughts?