first time need help - still (new thread?)

[albamarie]

Hey Nero, your new thread is fine. Now go into the 1st page of your last thread and copy the URL address: example www.divorcebusting.com/forum.............and all the rest it says. Past it to a post here and now people can read some of the older stuff.

sooo- it's such a beautiful beautiful fall morning. just got home to a message on the phone- h - what the??? he's usually really out of touch when he's in fl.
He may be entering a new phase...he is reaching out a little though, think about how your going to handle anything he may say. You still may be his safe place to return to, my H calls it a connection as says it's a good thing.

your h sounds like he is seriously "committed" to you and m and family in his own wierd way.
I know, it's very unsettling because he's not enough for me (as is) but I can't shake him either. I know this will either end by me or I feel it may linger foreverrrrr. He's committed but with half a foot out the door

you think he can even imagine you not "being there" in his life? probably not-
I don't think so but I know he is willing to sacrifice that (at least when he's manic) he is the type that could live life in regret. But, ultimately no he doesn't "want" me out of his life, but he won't do anything to prevent it.

i become all self sufficient($$) and that makes me less conciliatory - OR - the big OR , IF I meet someone and begin to see a different life with dxifferent people. any one would spell THE END in no uncertain terms.
That's it we need a life with different people because this one is so lonely. That's what they don't get it's the loneliness that's going to turn us, going to make us look elsewhere for a smile, a look, a touch, how long do they think we can sit cold and alone.

In your last post you said it was the loneliness was the worst...your right at the end of the day it is us in our rooms, on the couch, in front of the stupid tv, alone. No hugs, no soft touch, no laughter, no gesture of hot tea, no stinking thing at all. I'm sick of myself already.

I can GAL all day....but in the end we still face that were alone without love. That is going to be my downfall. That is why I sometimes cry to him...and he's home...and I'm lonely. But, ultimately that's going to be why I stray...I can see myself longing for conversation (mutual - not me coddling him and his only interests) I long for face to face, for a gesture of sweetness.

Come on were women were not to be put on a shelf. I'm not seeking anything but I wouldn't shy from it anymore. I just wouldn't to cheat - but hey emotions being met, would that make me in an ea sitch. Who knows...I don't really care either. After all it is basic human necessity.

I don't know, I feel it every day, even in the mists of everyone being home. They all have their sweeties and I look at them and can't believe there made of HIM! They have their lives, he has his ea, best friend aka depression, and I have his fallout and their attention when it's convenient.

Can you guess I'm home alone right now!

No, I wouldn't want to sub teach I don't really like kids very much, I like to give them back quick or let them get away with everything. Every year I make a few bucks doing taxes for the teens around here. I should just take the stupid course and do taxes in an office.

You certainly do a lot of projects and are keeping busy. You sound so much more productive than I. I like the idea of your mailbox, sound pretty.