Tumbling, Glad you're getting more of a positive response from your H, however take Vero's tip. I recently had lied to myself / got hopes up too high and crashed. You know about this.
Also, earlier today I heard a blank text means, " f u". So. Be careful with that too. Lol
Tumbling, I agree, too. Enjoy the texts but don't analyze them too much.
And I would definitely NOT mention the anniversary of the lady's death. If he mentions something, acknowledge it, but I doubt he will, esp if you are only texting each other. This topic should be part of your future talks when you guys are both ready to work on your M.
Wait to text again. I'm pretty sure he'll continue taking the initiative.
TQuestion - why do you want me to be dimmer, Wendylon? Am i too available?
Yes, Tumbling, to me it feels as if you might learn more about your H by being less responsive. I can't tell whether he is just being friendly in responding to you or whether he is anywhere near putting in some effort of his own.
I know how risky it feels but one way for your to find out is by being dimmer. I do know how hard it is.
I think that you are more responsive/available to him than your realise, probably because you are reining yourself back so much already. I would be very surprised if he felt at all worried about you not being there for him and I think it would do him good to feel his own insecurity (if he has any).
Hope your week is going well.
Me: 51 H: 52 T: 23 yrs M: 19 yrs S18, D16, S14 (special needs) PA: 2003/2004 Piecing: 2004 on Suspect H had EA: 8/2012-12/2012
Afa - thanks for the heads up on the blank text meaning. I DID do it, I SENT it on purpose but not to say FU. I don't know why I did, I just did.
Tori - thanks for stopping by. I'm trying not to analyse it but am intrigued (how interesting...) that he has started taking the initiative. This does mean he's thinking of me with no prompting.
He again initiated this morning - "Morning Tumbling x" so I sent the same. I wonder if he notices I'm copying his exact words. One thing I am NOT liking is it is now 2 WORD TEXTS not even 3 Wendylon!
Wendylon - OK so now I am the responder and NOT the initiator and I LIKE this much better. NO EXPECTATIONS. However, I don't think I should ignore him when he texts... HELP please on how to be dimmer without ignoring him. Is it just enlarging the time gap before responding?
I am abit concerned that this (morning/night texts) is going to go on endlessly with no moves forward.
On the other hand if I do no more initiating perhaps he will start to wonder himself what he is getting from this...and may pick up the ball.
I don't know. Bit confused
ME41 H39 T12 M9 Ilybinilwy 10/2010 H moves out 11/2010 H moves in 09/2011 out 11/2011 Try to fix it alone, give up 07/2012 Tumbling to file 02/01/2013 :-) "Strong on the inside, soft on the outside"
Tumbling, I think you might want to experiment not answering just one day. No explanations. If he asks, you can say you were so busy you didn't check your phone. He'll be curious about what you were doing. My coach said being mysterious sparks interest. Will write more when I'm at my computer.
I've experienced success by waiting longer, that may be a bit dimmer. Or go with Tori's idea of an actual day. That would most definitely be dimmer. Some of it depends on if you can hold back that long. Either way, stay strong. Oh, one final thought, GAL activities will increase time in between.
Hi, Tumbling, I don't have much for advice to offer about "going dim" but wanted to let u know I've been keeping up w your thread, as I need to listen to others who are dealing w WAS= mine is soon to be one & I'm looking for all those who are dealing w this now & have been doing so.
GOod luck going dimmer-I'll be interested to hearing how this goes for you!
M- 18 T-21 S-14,11 & 10 BD 6-18-2012 (OW-EA) H moved out 11-3-2012 10-5-13 Me- I want a divorce. I want to move on w my life. 11-25-13 Jointly filed.
Definitely respond but not too quickly. Ideally you'd be so caught up in stuff in your life that you'd genuinely find that at times you take a bit longer to respond. In the absence of genuine factors that keep you from texting back too quickly you will have to act as if you're too busy to answer right away.
I have more to say but will need to stop by later.
Stay strong and dim!
Me: 51 H: 52 T: 23 yrs M: 19 yrs S18, D16, S14 (special needs) PA: 2003/2004 Piecing: 2004 on Suspect H had EA: 8/2012-12/2012
