Still together but trying to save this

[PeteWyo]

Ok.

Update on IC. I think I might have wasted a session. Well, not wasted but I talked a lot about my anxiety and it was all stuff we already knew. Before I knew it the session was over. The IC seems to think that my anxiety has a lot to do with me living up to my own expectations. Well its a little deeper than that but that is a big part of it. And that I was trying too hard to live up to those expectations that I didn't take time to just enjoy my marriage and my W. I couldn't agree more.

I know this isn't an anxiety forum, but I thought it was worth mentioning in case anyone else is having a similar problem and is reading my journey. Also worth mentioning for anyone is to stop for a minute and enjoy your spouse and your marriage. Life goes by too quick and you might wake up one day without them if you don't.

[PeteWyo]

Also, Denver, thank you so much for your advice. I know that you obviously don't owe me any of this. I feel so silly asking about how to respond to a text message. Your advice means more to me than you will ever know.

[PeteWyo]

Had a bad day today, I'm not really sure why. I just felt really alone today. I guess I just get tired of hearing people talk about their plans with their love ones and family. I know its normal to feel alone but that doesn't make it any easier. I hear stories about my buddies going to spend their Friday night watching movies or just relaxing with their wives and that sounds so amazing.

[eyesopen]

Fuan, I can relate to the feelings you get when you see couples together, or hear them making plans. It hurts, hang in there, find the strength that you never knew you had.

[PeteWyo]

So new text message, I am torn on how to respond. She says she wants to come get some of her winter things this weekend from the house. I'm not sure I want to be there watching her take more of her stuff out. I could just get it together for her and box it up. What should I do?

[PeteWyo]

Fuan, I can relate to the feelings you get when you see couples together, or hear them making plans. It hurts, hang in there, find the strength that you never knew you had.

Thank you, I know. I consider myself a pretty strong person. That doesn't make this any easier!

[eyesopen]

Personally I would be there. Great time to act as if you have your s@#* together. Unless you are completely dark, I don't think you should miss a oppurtunity to interact.

[Denver_2010]

Ok.
The IC seems to think that my anxiety has a lot to do with me living up to my own expectations. Well its a little deeper than that but that is a big part of it. And that I was trying too hard to live up to those expectations that I didn't take time to just enjoy my marriage and my W.

That was me as well. No question about it. Led to the downfall of my M. It was also the biggest part of my resurrection... I no longer allow it in my life.

And you are very welcome for the advice. I am paying it forward just as others did for me.

[Denver_2010]

So new text message, I am torn on how to respond. She says she wants to come get some of her winter things this weekend from the house. I'm not sure I want to be there watching her take more of her stuff out. I could just get it together for her and box it up. What should I do?

Box it up and leave it for her. First, being there when she comes over will be pursuit and it may make her feel uncomfortable. Second, you are not ready for direct interaction with her.

[PeteWyo]

Denver, so I am still answering her through text here. She asked me if I would just leave the house open so she can come get her things. How do I gracefully tell her that I prefer to have her tell me what she needs so I can box it up for her...