I'm trying to figure this out too. Its been really tough. So far I think this, and let me know if you think I should go back to the drawing board.
One question I have to ask before I state my opinion, do you have any kids or anything to keep you seeing each other face to face frequently? This is important since I think DRing is easier when you have them, I have same feelings for my dog, but we will see how this takes hold.
During this time before true detachment and especially prior to filing papers is when the LBS has the greatest opportunity to demonstrate changes, lightheartedness, friendship, kindness, gentleness and concern. Get the WAS feeling and recognizing these things. It is ok if they are skeptical or fearful still. This is the time for the WAS to become attracted to us and liking us.
If the WAS still is skeptical or fearful and presses forward with the filing, then the LBS has some choices to make.
1 Still act the way above and still try and be their best friend. 2 Detach act as if LBS is moving forward, but still try and be their best friend 3 Detach act as if LBS is moving forward, and in actuality are but a little bit each day, and be friendly and lighthearted but more as an aquaintence friend if that 4 Go grey or pitch black
I right now think either 2 or 3 would be the best option. It would be really hard to do 2 as well as I don't think the vacum effect is as strong.
The guilt thing he is feeling with "not feeling you would want to talk with him" makes me think that 2 is a good option. It would be difficult for you but none of this is easy. I have seriously considered 2, I feel the same way about WAW, she feels so guilty and she is so weak (not a slam really) that she couldn't find the strength to initiate contact, that scared little bunny will never come out of the hole. Whereas I know I am stronger and more detached and I have the tools she is ignorant to acquire.
