Back to Square One?

[Wendylon]

Thank you very much, Tumbling, Tori and Regretful for your encouraging and wise words.

Tumbling, you do make me laugh. I'm often the one with my panties in a twist!

First of all, I won the appeal against Social Services yesterday so everything seems rosier. It was daunting as the appeal panel consisted of 8 people and I then had to wait a couple of hours before I heard the outcome. I'm thrilled because S13's care plan is actually better than it was before the latest review which I was appealing. Thank you very much, Tori, for wishing me good luck.


Positives with H:

-He hugged me as I left for the appeal and wished me luck and said he really appreciated me doing this.

-He joined me later at the cafe that I go to daily. He's never wanted to come there with me before even though they make great coffee and I'd 'invited' him several times. He somehow seemed to think of it as my territory and went to his own haunts instead. It was his idea to meet me there yesterday after the appeal. I got the news on my phone just as he was arriving at the cafe so he was able to be the first person to celebrate the good news.

-He had originally told me that he couldn't come to my friend's private viewing last night but hadn't said why. Yesterday, he revealed that he was going to a friend's book launch and said I was welcome to go along with him. (I didn't go but it was nice to know that I could have).

-I told him that my grandmother has breast cancer (which I'm v sad about and nearly wish she didn't know it as she's 95 and has a good life at the moment) and he asked if he could email her.

-I told him about my mother's marital problems (her third husband) and he has been sympathetic and interested in knowing more details.

-He's initiated more convos and has wanted me to watch clips from Life of Brian with him.

-He sent me several emails today about various things (9--I've just counted).

-He asked about when supper would be and was only about 5 minutes late.



My 180s:

- When H got back at 10.30pm from the book launch last night which started at 6.30pm (seems v long to me), I acted as if I was completely unfazed and made no reference to the time.

-H never made it to the bedroom for the night. I assume he fell asleep downstairs. I didn't go and retrieve him and get him to come to bed. This morning I didn't comment at all on the fact that he hadn't slept in our bed.

-He'd definitely had a few drinks but I said nothing about it.


The trickiest bit of the last couple of days occurred when he insisted on flossing his teeth while we watched our daily episode of The Good Wife. I felt so irritated. I asked him if we could pause the DVD and resume when he'd finished flossing but he said a bit aggressively "We're watching and I'm flossing". I managed not to let it escalate and more or less put up with it, although I did give him the look a couple of times.

Tumbling, he's the one who picks his teeth incessantly and not S17. I keep telling him he should go and get his teeth sorted. I like your comment about picking one's battles and boundaries. Regretful, you are right that I need to let go of the little things. His little things infuriate me and I think my reaction to them has caused lots of damage in that he feels controlled and criticised.

Like you, Regretful, we're minus 2 kids this weekend which will make for a different dynamic. (Only S17 is here so we're as good as on our own.) I'll do my own thing and will see if he initiates any time together. He did ask me this morning if I wanted to celebrate winning the appeal. I said 'sure' but nothing concrete has been organised since then. I won't expect any more than our nightly episode of the Good Wife.