Keep breathing...

[mamabird]

Thanks Breakdown! I appreciate you dropping by. I do think that things have really improved a lot in the last 3 weeks. And sure, he might be cake eating. But you know what - he hasn't filed for D. I am willing to be patient because the changes are working.

Today, he told me to have a good day as he was leaving with the boys. Then just a few minutes ago he texted me to ask me if it was ok to use his last session with the trainer today. I told him I'd noticed his weight loss and was proud of him for making that a goal. Trying to be very conscious of not pressuring/ pursuing but trying to fill his love tank too. That is a difficult balance. He's been eating dinner with us consistently too, so I'm feeling like I've got a winning strategy for now.

Yes, I recognize that I have the tendency to be vindictive, or to have those feelings at least. Haven't acted on any of it. I'm working on being able to let go of my anger better and not to feel that way. It's a challenge. I am a mama bear and I don't take kindly to people f'ing with me.

Birthday plans: hey, if we can do a family day and evening, that would be great. I'll take it. We'll see how that unfolds. Key is not to push him and for him to feel loved and to enjoy the day.

This weekend my kids will be gone. As I said I had planned to see a movie but my dad said stay home with H. GAL at home? I don't know... In the olden days we'd always use that time to go out together but clearly he's not ready for that. And I could see a "date" ending in disaster.