Quote: As for option 1 above, I've noticed and been trying to pay attention to some of the success stories and most of them have been with the LBS having some contact and being kind and gentle.
I see that too. I guess this is why I'm feeling confused. I've been doing that for the most part. I admit to a backslide here or there, but mostly pretty good I think.
I have, however, stated though all this that we could not be friends if we D'd. I do I feel I am a compassionate person and everything I know about OW (which is way too much unfortunately) literally makes me vomit-- I don't have the slightest shred of respect for the person that she is, and I don't know I'd be able to respect his decision to keep that in his life enough to be any kind of real friend.
So... how could I put that aside and actively be his friend? I'm not sure. Because I am really straight with my friends about that kind of stuff. And he hates it when he thinks I am treating him with "kid gloves".
Interestingly, all my silent calls have stopped since his 180...I was getting them several times a week, home and work, for six months.
I don't think H will contact me if I don't contact H first. That is his pattern for the most part... he then says "i didn't think you would want to hear from me."
Frankly I am very tempted to contact him today just because I am missing his voice, only I don't know what to say right now.
