I wonder if I will actually be STRONGER when he leaves /not as emotional around him, as I tend to get weepy in the evenings and at night and won't be around him then. I'm not sure. I just hope I don't "cave" and call him. I'm actually hoping he will call me...but I know I shouldn't have any expectations.
My H is dealing w his mother's recent passing from cancer. We both believe his unhappiness stemmed from her getting sick. I tend to get the "winter blues" and this was when he needed me last Jan & I'm sure I was not in a place to be there for him emotionally.
Regardless, he is seeing a new C today (after only a few brief C sessions this summer after he dropped the B & told me about OW). He discontinued b/c the C was really focused in on his childhood and he felt he was spinning his wheels going nowhere fast. I am HOPEFUL that this new C will help him think about his problems and his values eventually.
I know this is a long journey.
AnotherStander, when you said I shouldn't look weak and needy, I agree, but in actuallity, it is when the wall breaks down a bit and he is open to "comforting" me (w hugs/cuddling sometimes). He responds to ME and is the ONLY time he is NOT selfish (a bit, anyway). So, I don't cry b/c to create the closeness, but my emotions are so on the surface right now that I can't seem to help it.
I thought I was a much stronger person...I don't think my kids EVER so me cry before all this started. Now, they've seen me upset several times...I feel so weak, and that feels so foreign and out-of-control for me.
M- 18 T-21 S-14,11 & 10 BD 6-18-2012 (OW-EA) H moved out 11-3-2012 10-5-13 Me- I want a divorce. I want to move on w my life. 11-25-13 Jointly filed.
