tvs-that was the first round she could/can talk about, not this round, yet...lol.
Heather, it sounds like you have had a lot of emotional investment in your R and H's R with substances over the years. In my sitch it was W's depression and hpd/bpd (though I didn't know the second part until the last couple of years).
Is there an al-anon or such group near you? It might help with the detaching and accepting bit. I am not too big on their "style", but I know people who it has helped.
Just an idea...
Be good to yourself!
T^2
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
