Felt real good yesterday, even strong. Today not so much. Emotions creeping up. I guess because I turned my phone off last night he tried calling twice and then twice this morning. Finally talked to him, didn't offer much info on eating out last night with friends. Even though he asked. Now feel terrible. Was he really trying to reach out, and showing concern? Or what? I feel like an ass. Just so confusing. And I ended the phone call before he could. We talked maybe 3 minutes. Haven't seen him in two months and I fly home Sunday. I am so nervous. As of now no plans, on what to do next....I am in this for the long haul. I am changing me. I am not waiting on h to fulfill my life. We have distanced ourselves from friends because of him. I didn't want to go out without him. No longer am I doing this. If he wants to stay home that is fine. Damn! I hate this.
