Quote: Everyone will pick up on it, even the old curmudgeon hiding in his cave that you love!
You know... people actually DO mention this to me quite often... one of our mutual friends jokingly calls me "the new (Wonder)".
Even the curmudgeon himself has noticed a whole lot... at first he made sarcastic remarks, then more wistful remarks, then compliments, then seemed to be acting as if it's not real and that I am really who I was at the most painful and reacting (for me) times of our sitch.
C suggested to me this-- that I have shown H very clearly how he's been wrong that things can't change, that we couldn't be so close again, that he couldn't be forgiven and start over with his W. He knows. And that is the best I can do.
Curmudgeon is a good word... when he was at the house last time, it was as if -- in the midst of having a good time-- he was also looking for little negative things to bring to my attention-- really minor things like dishes not being done or a spot in the bathroom or the location of our home. I let it all go, though.
I figure if that is the best he can come up with to make digs about, I've done great. Of course the idea that he'd make any dig at me is a complete 180. That isn't who he ever was.
That's it. This is Bizarro H.
I haven't been for that facial yet... still need to make the appt. And I'm thinking sooner rather than later.
Azure and Mooka, that is a really interesting thought. I do believe that we're meant to learn something important here, but I am not sure I personally believe we drew adversity to ourselves in order to learn it.
I think my perspective is more that in every negative situation there is something we need to learn that can turn it back into a positive situation-- and that often the difficulty shakes us up enough to get real about learning it.
I guess seeing how far we have come in our interactions in such a difficult and painful time just makes it seem such a great waste to me to throw all that work away without ever seeing it through.
Most important, I am learning that key to being happy is to figure out what my real values are and how to match my choices to them. Working on that has changed my attitude dramatically-- and it makes decision making far, far easier. I can see how much compromising on that one thing has torn my Hs life in pieces.
Isn't the list idea great? A friend suggested that to me and I am very grateful to her.
