Thanks Cadet! I've of course done a ton of reading on here and through books, articles and other forums, but it seems like menopause/ perio/ andro seem to get lumped into MLC. It seems like the whole "change of life" phase is largely a mystery and hasn't really been explored well as far as the impact it has on marriages and families.
Menopause on its own is not something that is a death knell for marriage. I was told this by PHD therapists and councelors, and other women that have been through menopause. However as one ingredient into this perfect storm I believe it is absolutely essential on the impact of marriages.
And let me reiterate that it might be the opposite of menopause that occurs that could cause these issues. Another words hormones out of wack in one direction or another for whatever reason it may be.
I am not so sure it is a mystery but instead maybe exploited by lawyers and other people looking to profit from the divorce industry.
Originally Posted By: AnotherStander
But in most other respects W hasn't really changed much. She's still a loving and caring mother, a responsible worker, a kind person in general and has not exhibited the "opposite" behavior that I've seen described in MLC threads. She's never once gone monster (or anything close to it) throughout this whole process. She's actually been very kind and considerate towards me and was there to support me in the worst stages of depression after BD. Now there have been some MLC signs- she dieted and lost about 20 pounds, she started wearing sexier underwear, changed her hair style a bit. But no radical transformation, no "alien transplant". Maybe that is still to come, only time will tell.
YUP that poor old gift of TIME. She is definitely in TRANSITION and whether it becomes a crisis or not is impossible to tell until after it is over.
It does not really change anything that YOU do.
You are much closer to the begining than you are to the end. When was the trigger for BD?
I wish I knew what else to tell you other than she seems very - Low Energy - again this may also be from the A/D's.
According to Jim Conway there are four pillars to an MLC. Body, Spouse, Job and God. Looks to me like she has at least two of them checked off so far. Body and Spouse. So whether she hits the other two or not, like you said, remains to be seen.
Get some popcorn and a chair and we will keep watching the movie.
