Rough: 25 has given you some awesome advice and some things to think about but I want to add two more that everyone here knows, but I think sometimes we lose our way a bit....I know I have on this journey.
#1 Whenever anyone joins this place Cadet always welcomes them and it almost always includes the line about your spouse has given you a gift.....a gift of time...use it.
#2 I know how hard it is not to worry about things....but you simply can't worry about what her conversation is going to be about....trust me its much easier said than done and again im probably not the greatest example b/c if my wife said the exact same thing to me I would probably mind read and think that she needed to see her IC to....for lack of a better word...prop her up to tell me she wanted a D. But I will give you a piece of advice to hopefully make things a bit easier while you wait on this conversation about which you know very little......whatever you are doing right now, this conversation shouldnt change anything. Good or bad, the goal here is to be doing things in YOUR life so that whatever this conversation is it doesn't matter.....and to me the reason it doesn't matter is b/c even if she says I want a D, does that really change anything. My belief all along in my sitch is even if she files I intend to love her through it and if it goes all the way you really still have the option of loving her as long as you want...assuming its not unhealthy....take back that much control for yourself....that at the very least YOU get to decide when YOUR done no matter what she says.
So often control is considered a bad thing....but as long as you understand that the only thing you control is yourself I think control is a great thing. The only other advice I would offer is to quite REACTING and start RESPONDING......it may sound like semantics to some, but just like Denver told me months ago things for him started to change when he could honestly say he was going to be OK either way. From my current sitch....it seems to be that mine is following a similar path.....once I realized my worth...once i realized that i'd be ok either way eventually even though i would miss my wife....once i quit reacting to her and started to simply respond to her.....apparently it showed up in something I was doing because she has slowly started reaching out if only slightly and having conversations with me that are more than simple child logistics. Some would say that they can just 'tell' im more likely to believe that after some time of consistency they simply see that the interactions are different, but it takes time and consistent actions....you have to have both.
Finally and i've honestly lived on this truth for a couple of months now.....my father in law was the one who told me about 3 months ago that she was going to file after my election which was in mid September....it still hasnt happened...at least not as of this morning...it could happen today or it could never happen, but here's my point and its one I meant to make above when I was talking about whatever she has to say in this conversation doesn't change anything for YOU. IF this conversation is about D that means that it is her belief and reality today that she wants nothing more to do with you. But I had a friends wife who had been through similar things tell me that at times she would wake up and KNOW for sure that she wanted a divorce....and might wake up the next day and think she wanted to work it out. So if thats what the convo is about....believe her, she really does want that....but that doesn't mean thats what she wants permanently, it simply means its where she is now...people change their mind. By way of example look at Denver....who I would hold up as a great stander for marriage....but at one point HE wanted a divorce. He stood for a long time, then changed his mind, then changed it again....it happens so just know that.
