Hi folks, about 15 years ago a former friend came to visit his kids in our avenue, and he had a medium sized sticker on the van driver’s door which said the following:
‘Same sh!t different day’.
No offence intended to anyone but it’s how it seems to be to me regarding the real life stories of the new posters that find themselves here on the MLC forum.
I don’t know, but do any of you still live in the same place you were born in? I do. Well the stuff that’s gone on around here is unbelievable! Even more so since my last update now nearly 5 years ago.
Most of it is too morbid to go into. But if you want me to do so, I just might.
My health:
I’ve been to see a Neurologist and I swear if she’d smile her face would crack! Her diagnosis of me: Chronic back pain; Chronic fatigue: The Brain scan I had later came back normal or so she says! So they managed to find a brain in Delboy then!
The pain and fatigue had been getting worse over the past 5 years. And the day after my 53rd birthday (and after a lot of research on the net) I finally went to the doctors and I’ve been off work since late January of this year. And in late March I was made redundant. So I bought the firms van and tools out of my redundancy payment but I haven’t been able to do hardly any work at all. So I’m effectively ‘Skint’. So with this health thingy I also have to be careful in what I do. So I’ve cut down on all my activities.
Most of the Dr’s including the neurologist things it’s in my head! On the 17th Jan, Doc said (after I had said I’d done research on pain and fatigue) you can call it what you like but we treat it all the same with antidepressants! I ain’t going back to him. I’ve nearly done the rounds in the local surgery. I finally got one to prescribe Amitriptyline 10 mg one at night. Which helps with the length of sleep but does nothing for the fatigue, pain or the sometimes lacks of energy or the sometimes washed out feelings.
Other than the above life’s ‘Hunky Dory.’ (Also it’s the title of the best album I‘ve ever heard and it’s by ‘David Bowie’ 1971). Incidentally I had about a 10 minute talk with the keyboard player (Rick Wakeman) who played on this album, back in 1987 when he came to a charity (SPARKS) golf tournament at the Hill Valley Golf course. He’s a tall bloke! And he is great to talk to. Me and my dad spent most of this day going around the course with Norman Wisdom.
Delboy, I'm very sorry to read that your health hasn't been the best. I know you are tired of making the rounds of doctors, but there has to be someone out there that will really listen. It may not be depression at all, but something that mimics it.
I live not far from where I grew up and things have changed quite a bit since those days. Society is not what it use to be...so, how is it going over there in your world?
You had mentioned that you had seen your xw. Is she still searching for herself or has she settled down? How is the rest of your family doing?
Don't give up on the medical professionals. Someone will come up with the right diagnosis for your condition. I know it's difficult to stay positive, but you live in a beautiful land and the people, music and talent there are quite wonderful.
Please continue to post...your thoughts that you shared w/us made us think and still do today.
Please take care of yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Snodderly, thanks for your reply, regarding my health, that first Dr I saw did think perhaps I should see a rheumatologist. But since then try as I might they won’t let me see one. Over here most Dr’s don’t recognize fibromyalgia. And with doing my research I do have most of the tender points and most of the associated symptoms.
Regarding other stuff about 2 years ago I remembered that somewhere in the house was an undeveloped photo film and I did know the period it was from early Summer 2000 till 3rd Sept 2001.
So I decided to get it developed and I thought some of us would have some tears seeing the photo’s, but no-one did. To everyone (me and the girls) it was like another lifetime a long time ago.
Some pic’s were of me and Dawn fishing showing off our big fish! Day trip to Barmouth, Weds 23rd Aug 2000, all of us on the beach or in the sea etc. Thru till the last one’s taken on Mon 3rd Sept 01 at Chester zoo.
But oh how nice she looked then!!!! lovely long brown hair. Not like now, very short fair hair and a lot bigger face and body etc. Total stranger to me.
And us folks (this forum) may have dropped lucky, about 18 months ago I came across her diaries ( I’m thinking of using some of the entry’s on here, cos they contain a lot of what a Mlcr’s goes thru). (The period they cover is from 1st Jan 1998 till June 03. Three of them are very large one’s, the other three are pocket sized and two of these small ones are now missing, but the information from these two are stored (only the most important parts) in my super computer (brain).
Best regards Love Delboy
P.S. I’ve kept my own diaries since 1st Jan 1995.
PPS. I don’t (and won’t) use real names accept for the super stars I’ve met, or any locations that are too close to home. I’m not bothered about myself but to I need to protect all the other folks etc.
Delboy, I'm sorry to hear that most of the doctors in your country do not recognize fibromayalgia. It is a very painful disorder. I know several people who have it and it took a lot of testing to finally pinpoint the disorder, but they are on medication and living day to day w/it.
I can relate to looking at photos taken years ago. It's like you are looking at a pictures that belong to someone else or were taken centuries ago. It's called indifference. Yes, they sure do change in their appearance as they navigate mlc. I know exactly what you are talking about when you described Dawn's previous appearance and the way she looks now. It's sad.
If you think that posting some of her thoughts from her diaries would help the people here, I would do it. We have so many new posters and even us "older" posters would like to read the inner most thoughts of someone going through the crisis. People don't realize that what is going on within the mlcer is turmoil and so much pain because there are no cuts or bruises or broken bones for us to see on the outside.
Delboy, please take care of yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I would love to understand the thoughts of the mlc mind. There is so much that I don't understand, and I have to keep reminding myself that I am looking at behavior from a rational point of view.
Many thanks for your replies, in her diaries it contains exactly when her behaviour changed. I got the speech (After I said; I love you more now than when I first fell in love with you: Her reply:I think the world of you and I care for you deeply, but we are more like brother and sister: Then she started to cry a little, but she would not talk about it. About 2 weeks later I took it up with her again but she wouldn't discuss it, so I got miffed at it and if and when I do the dairies I will go into more details of what happen on this night.
Best Regards
Love
Delboy
P.S Dawn is the name i'm using for my youngest D age 22
Del is 53
Liz Ex wife is 55
Ann is 28 and eldest D
Louise is 25 and middle D
We lost our first born a son, died at 3 weeks old May 3rd 1983, Exactly 5 years to the day my granddad died (my Mums dad)
We were married April 1981. I first spoke to her on Mon 25th August 1975. Me 16 years old, she just a few days short of her 18 birthday And I danced with her to the no: 1 hit of the day, The Stylistics ' I can't give you anything but my love' I fell in love with her in last week of July/first week of August 76, Engaged May 77.
Sorry about your health problems, but, like Snod said, don't give up. One of my friends has been plagued with health issues for years. Luckily, we live near the Cleveland Clinic and, this year, she went in for extensive tests. At first, they said they could find nothing, but after months of testing and, then, sending her to a specialist that specializes in difficult to diagnose conditions, she was diagnosed with lupus. There is the possibility she has MS on top of the Lupus. The point is... don't give up. Trust your body. heather
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
Here is yet another song that speaks to me on a very deep level I'll bet some of you will like it, it's a killer!
I first heard this in the 70’s and I recall the last time I heard this on radio was Feb or early March 1978 (in the mid eighties I bought an album with this song on it) and travelling between an English town and a north Wales town, both these towns begin with the letter W. Please if you can, listen to it on Y-- ----
The microphone can barely handle Rod Stewart’s voice and he was only 23 years old at the time. I can feel the pain in his voice, Jeff Beck is widely regarded as one of the world’s best ever guitarist.
‘I’ve been drinking again’ Written by; Johnny Mercer, Doris Tauber
Performed by; the Jeff Beck Group 1968
I'm drinkin' again Thinkin' of when, you left me And that happened once so long ago, hmm
I've be’n havin' a few And wishin' that you Were right here by my side
Well I'm makin' the rounds And settin' them up A total stranger to myself I'm just makin' a fool of myself
I'm just hopin' that you'll come right back once someday But I know, I know, I know That there's no second time around, hmm Now, listen!
I know, I know, I know
So I know I can borrow a smoke And sit here all night long and tell a joke But after all is said and done Who's gonna laugh, Who's gonna laugh at a broken, a broken heart?
I've be’n drinkin' again And thinkin' of when Of when you left me, and that weren't so long ago, hmm
I've be’n havin' a few you know that, you know And wishin' that you Were here right by my side, hmm
Now listen one time!
I've be’n drinkin' again I've be’n drinkin' again Sometimes I can't help myself hmm
Hi good folks, here’s another killer. Written by David Bently of the Python Lee Jackson group, an Aussie band that came over to London England in 1967-68. My understanding is they decided to record a few songs. When David Bently said to the band I don’t think my voice suits ‘In A Broken Dream’ he decided to find someone else. So he chose Rod Stewart to cut 4 tracks for them. After a practise run, he then managed to do it in one take.
David Bently said to Rod what do you want for the vocal recordings and he said (and got) some carpets for my car! In 1972 it made No: 2 in the UK and no 1 in quite a few European countries, under the name of Python Lee Jackson.
In 1992 Rod re-recorded it with David Gilmour on guitar. Again another fine performance. Please check them out!
‘In A Broken Dream’
Every day I spend my time Drinkin' wine, feelin' fine Waitin' here to find the sign That I can understand Yes I am
In the days between the hours Ivory towers, bloody flowers Push their heads in to the air I don't care if I ever know There I go
Don't push your love too far Your wounds won't leave a scar Right now is where you are In a broken dream Did someone bow their head ? Did someone break the bread ? Good people are in bed Before nine o'clock.
On the pad before my eyes Paper cries, tellin' lies The promises you gave From the grave of a broken heart Hmm
Every day I spend my time Drinkin' wine, feelin' fine Waitin' here to find the sign That I can understand Yes I am oh oh oh
I sit here in my lonely room
Don't push your love too far You know your wounds won't even leave a scar Right now is where you are In a broken dream And don't you forget what I say
