Newman, one good book I found to be very much in line with DR, she even quotes MWD in it, is called "How one of you can bring the two of you together" by Susan Page. Another is Five Love Languages which is always recommended on this site, and another that DB coach recommended is "How to improve your marriage without talking about it" Patricia Love and Steven Stosney. I have found them all to be very helpful. I am reading them one by one for the second time to re-inforce the messages.
In answer to your question..there have been no setbacks after my leap of faith. We have not talked about our R or the problems that led to BD x 4. I am putting principles in place from the books that I have read above and continue with my 180's without backsliding. I am finding very much that my H is responding well. There have been no fights and we are holidaying together in a few weeks, which I hope will cement our bond even further. I have decided that I will need to have most of my needs met by GAL for the time being. H is MLC and is very self-absorbed presently, so I am not expecting too much in the way of validation, compliments or attention. That is OK. I am willing to sacrifice that for now because I am seeing results of my hard work.
I think its very important if you ML not to expect that will mean that things are automatically back to normal. You may find your W pulls back again. This is expected after a major connection. You will need to remember that ML is for fun and not to obligate her. Just take things slow. Let her guide you. If you are making progress move forward inch by inch and build on the positive responses you get, but always with caution.
