I was totally floored when i read you posts. I can't believe that he would hand you D papers on your birthday weekend. I'm angry for you, but i think that you have been handling it all ok.
No matter what he thinks the D will give him (closure?) in the end he cannot escape himself and thus he is doomed.
When it looked like H and i where heading for D i considered sending him the first chapter or DR, under the promise of my C. I was fully ready to move on without him, as much as it hurt. I don't understand how they think that a D is the solution?!!?
I think that you could do this in two ways: 1. Sign the papers and end things with your H once and for all. Go totally dark, no phone calls, no contact ect. Might be a 180?
2. Go on as you have been with your H and see what happens.
It may not be constructive to your R and M, but I would take the first option. Not because i want my M to end, but for my own sanity. I know that i would be so very angry, and doubly wary of trusting H after he could hand me those papers.
As you have said, you don't neccessarily want a fully reconciliation at this point, you just want to give a committment to SEE if it would be possible, it doesn't mean that YOU would want HIM in your LIFE. How do they not get that????
I know that the person my H was while we where sep. is not the man i want to spend the rest of my life with. He knows that we are only looking to see if we have a future and that it isn't set in stone. We have only made a committment to SEE if it could work, not that it WILL work.
It is sad for your H, but in the end, what goes around comes around. YOU will be fine, and i know that you will go on to have a wonderful relationship with someone else, your H however, is doomed to repeat the same things over and over, except that it'll be easier next time.
Stats say that women who D in their late 20's and 30's are better off after the D than before whereas the men are most definatly not!!!!
