Of course, this is DB so we all know after the high comes the crash right? Monday was practice for my team and its at 'our' house...even though I dont live there. Ok, so S11 and I get to practice and when practice is over i've got some other forms from the accountant that I need to get her to sign and so I step inside for a few minutes and obviously get what i was expecting.....kinda cold...not much to say....not very friendly, buyers remorse.
Now a little background....my son will be 12 in two weeks and my WAW and I have allowed him to stay wherever he wants whenever he wants...i say that to say that i've kept a journal for the last 2 months and at the end of 30 days he had stayed with me 21 and last week at the end of 60 days he has stayed with me 41/60...i've been keeping up with this on the advice of an attorney in case she goes through with divorce....
Back to Monday...he walks inside the house just as she's finishing up signing the papers I had given her and i told him i was leaving and assumed he would probably stay with her because he had been with me since the previous Wednesday and he normally stays 3-4 days with me and then goes there for a day or two....anyway I told him i was leaving and was about to say bye to him when he told her bye and that he was going with me. She looked a little miffed, but didnt say anything to me and we left.
About a 1/2 hour later she sent me a text about our son's parent teacher conference this week and if he had brought a time home from school....he had told me a couple of days before that he forgot to bring it home and that his teacher was going to email us so I relayed that to her and told her i wasn't sure what email adress she had given the teacher at the beginning of the year the shared one or her private one but that if she didnt have an email from the teacher to let me know and i'd take care of it.
Well that set her off....a few minutes later another text saying that she didnt have an email and i told her that i'd email the teacher Tuesday morning and take care of it....the next text was pretty nasty and was talking about she didnt mind taking him to the conference b/c she had been to every other conference his whole life......I didnt respond at all because i wasn't going to give her the fight she was looking for.
15 minutes later she texts me again and it seems somewhat random b/c she simply states that she was upset tonight b/c she had made a big special dinner b/c he hadnt been there all weekend... it really sounded like the middle of a conversation.....like she accidently sent it to me and not on purpose b/c we werent talking about her being upset at all.....we had been talking about p/t conferences and i didnt know she was upset until she sent that so I asked her if that was supposed to be sent to me.
She replied that it was for me and i simply replied that i appreciated her sharing her feelings with me and that i was sorry that she was upset. So then she sends another nasty text about she had made this and this and this and what was she supposed to do guess if he was gonna stay or not....(I would have liked to have advised her to simply ask him before she did those things and she would know but I thought better of it at the time)
At this point I was truly confused...i've always been pretty cautious about text and email because its incredibly hard to tell 'tone' in them....so I called her up....partly to honestly ask a question and partly to try to difuse this thing a bit before it got too far...when she answered I told her I simply needed some clarity on the text conversation as to whether she was chewing me out, or venting....but I was nice, light etc when i said it and was really expecting her to say venting and get off of the phone.
Turns out she said chewing me out a little she thought....started going into she didnt know why he was spending so much time with me in the last couple of weeks (thats why i gave the background above that its the same now as it was 30 days ago)....basically trying to say i was keeping him from her without saying i was keeping him from her. I was walking outside as we were talking b/c i didnt want him overhearing it and ended up getting in my truck and driving to my home...its only 2 miles from where im staying now....and asking her to come outside and go for a ride with me and we would talk.
We ended up talking for about an hour and a half.....i told her i'd never go back to a relationship like our old one....she told me she only had history to go on....I told her i wanted to start things slowly.....she told me she was happy and was scared she would lose that.....i told her i made mistakes etc...she told me she thinks she was depressed and is scared of going there again....I told her i wanted to get to know her and never bothered to ask her how she wanted to be loved.....she told me she should have spoken up more.....all in all it was a wonderful conversation but we haven't really talked since.
I did text her this morning...it was a question from the list that Lipton uses on the actors studio...what sound do you love and she texted back babies laughing... I had mentioned to her that i'd like to basically ask a bunch of questions to get to know her better...so i was happy she at least answered the question.
Ok, what now guys.....our talk was Monday.....no real interaction on Tuesday....a text this morning that she answered...where did I go right? Where did I go wrong? How do I continue on, but not be over eager, scare her off etc? Here are my thoughts.....Rome wasn't built in a day, patience is something I did/do struggle with so im trying not to bumrush her....I probably won't even send her another question off of the list until Friday because I want to talk to her daily but think she's not there yet. I also think that everything I heard from her during our conversation is that she's happy with things the way they are, but she never said she wouldnt want us back together, only that she wants to keep being happy and she's worried about the stresses that come with us being together. I agreed with all of that when she said it and validated everything I could. I even told her that I knew I had to overcome a history of telling her i would change but then not doing it.
Ok.....if you read all of that thank you very much I know its a book and i'll try to keep up more often so I dont have so much to add at once but it all happened pretty quickly.....
