Lots to update....im going to try to put this into a form that makes the most sense. My WAW has been incredibly.....lets say cold...distant....trying to detach from me since this thing began in June. I have done my own thing, worked hard to try to make improvements in my life, seeing an IC weekly, worked on GAL and gave up some bad habits....all in all I can say undoubtedly that minus one hole in my life I am happier today than I have been in a long time. I know its only been 4 months so im sure the changes haven't 'stuck' yet...which is why I continue to work on me, but its easier to smile, to laugh and im looking forward to a relationship one day thats fun.
Obviously I want that to be with my wife...which brings us to Saturday. I coach my sons youth football team and we had a game on Saturday and afterward when we were walking to the parking lot I told her I had some tax papers I needed her to sign so I could file them on Monday. She walked over and my son was talking to a friend so it was just the two of us.....I get the stuff out for her to sign and she asks how im doing...(through this entire thing she's been cordial at best...always says how are you but really doesnt care about the answer.) I said I was good, but didnt elaborate and asked how she was and she said ok I guess (another aside....I haven't always followed DB to a T, but I have done a great job of not trying to tell her what i've done, am doing, but let her see it.)
Because she was weird about the way she answered I asked her what does ok i guess mean....i dont remember what she said but I ended up saying something about her avoiding me and not even being willing to talk and she replied that we had only seen one another in passing and that we had not had the opportunity etc....and I called her on it and told her that there had been plenty of opportunity if she had any interest in simply chatting. We talked for about another 30 minutes or so about various stuff.....good conversation, lots of laughs....she did mention at one point being uncomfortable or having anxiety or something and I asked why and we pursued that a bit....all in all this was a really good conversation and I left there feeling great. I spent all afternoon on Saturday convincing myself not to text her and was able to make it.....and on Sunday took my S11 to the fair with some friends and again wanted to call and invite her but convinced myself otherwise.....at the end of the day I was proud of myself and had ridden a pretty good high all weekend.
