There is an ebook that really helped me during phase 1 of W's affairs back in 2009/2010...google "break free from the affair"...one of those along with the DB books that almost literally saved my life, and for sure my sanity (or what of that there was...lol).
From what you wrote, sounds like H is full-on in "replay" stage. They are trying to go back and re-live, re-work that time period when something didn't get wired right in their brains, some pain that was never resolved properly (Snodderly has a GREAT post on why they run, I think its in Cadets resources posts now).
Read the resources posts over and over...I still read through them for the 1000'ed time, each time there is something to be reminded of that helps in the phase of my sitch.
Quote:
He even told me a month ago that he is disgusted with himself.
W has said this to me as well now that the angry alien spew phase has abated, please remember that H feels that ^^^^^ and he is running hard and fast from it...he is in pain and scared...I ask myself when I get fed up and tired of W's crap , "Would I abandon someone in pain who had cancer or something?" It helps me to have compassion for her, even through the abuse she threw and sometimes now throws my way.
Yes, talk this out here, texting/talking to H right now about R stuff would probably be the same as banging your head against a brick wall, and let me tell you, it doesn't help, at all...only makes big ugly bumps and bruises that take a while to heal (I am still nursing mine)...
Let him swing from his own yardarm right now, work on YOU!
T^2
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
