I want to ask you something and think about it long and hard...what transpired in the 18-24 months prior to her going into crisis? Something had to have triggered her full blown mlc. Up to the point of the trigger, she may have been moving along, but there was a gnawing feeling of discontent that she hadn't felt comfortable w/discussing w/you because she wasn't sure how you would react.
Her Mom was in a downward health spiral. She was bedridden for 10 years, spent the last year+ in a nursing home, and could barely even talk when we went to see her. When my wife watched Mom take her final breath, that was the trigger.
Her first reaction was to jump on the exercise bandwagon, to avoid ending up in Mom’s situation. For the next few months I could feel her becoming more distant from me. I figured it was just grief. Any little incident would trigger crying, which was unusual for her. When asked about it, she told me she didn’t understand her feelings.
Then one night she passed out from drinking too much. (extremely rare for either of us) When trying to wake her, her body started to respond to my touch and I got carried away. When she awoke she cried and claimed I tried to rape her. Of course I felt horrible. This was the only time I done anything like this in all of our years together. Two days later she dropped the bomb.
Her issues were due to the fact that Mom was bitter and abusive, and didn’t show love or admiration to my wife. She also was an outcast in school. Her older brother took sexual advantage of her when she was 10 or 11. This last fact makes it easy to see why my actions that night pushed her over the edge. Ironically, she doesn’t hold it against me, and claims it’s not the reason she wants out. Looking back, I’m sure that it was only a matter of time until we ended up where we are now. The incident only brought her feelings to a head quicker.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
