Going home

[needgrace]

my dear sister busting, i love you too...you have been such a much needed source of support and encouragement in my life this year. you have given me so much.. and i will be forever grateful for having you in my life at this time.. thank you.

JOURNAL

surrendering - day 3

reading the book by Susan Anderson has given me such peace this morning. it normalizes everything i have been feeling and instead of that vague feeling of worry that there is something very wrong with me that i feel so much, i feel better about myself and where i have been and am at now..

she explains the physiology of loss and it is amazing to read.. for example, she talks about research that loss decreases the production of opioids so that we experience a withdrawal that is psychobiologically akin to withdrawal from heroin or morphine..

that sure sounds like what i have felt... and i think i continue to feel it when i see her, almost like a relapse of sorts.

i emailed her yesterday about my questions, confusion and concern about the L she wanted to "share" to draw up the papers... she replied this morning in somewhat of a dismissive manner and i was able to just think "isn't that interesting?" (thank you, SD.)

i am not fighting the D (though i still don't agree with it).. but i just want to make sure that it is done in a respectful and considerate manner on both sides..

again, love and peace to all.