My Story Part 2: WAW's New Man

[twisted9999]

See here is the thing the post did not bother because of how she thougth of me (i could care less on how she thinks of me)...it bother me because she was bad mouthing me as a father and all her family and friends who are also my family and friends could see it.

I am not trying to talk my way out of it. That boat has sailed years ago and is not coming back. As for living for me I am. Trust me when i say this, i want very much to get back with her if that is at all possible but if it does not happen then I will also be fine with that too. I know that the person that I have become is so much better than what I was. I admit at first it was for her but now that i see what changes I have made in myself(happier, more out going, fun to be around,ect) and also my relationship with my kids is so much better then what it was.

I admit it though part of the reason I am reading her messages is so I can get a feel on how she is doing. Had I not read the message yesterday she would have went on being angry and further justifying leaving me to her family and friends. So yes I do use some of her messages to my advantage but i also think that is not a bad thing. Even my DB coach made the comment that she thinks it can be a good thing to look at this stuff because you know how to react. When or if she ever tells me about this other guy i will not be shocked and will be able to control my emotions because I have reach to point of acceptance on that issue. Had she came up to me and said i am seeing this dude and I had no clue i guarantee my reaction would have been different then it would be now.

I am following what my DB coach is telling me to do. I let her know all that I do to help her as well as the stuff i do for me and the kids. She said it is ok to be available to her. Asking if she needs help with anything and if she says yes then do it if she says no then back off. When i stayed at the house and played with the kids and her out in the back, she told me that was a good thing. Trust me I am not doing this stuff just a random for no reason.

I may be confused but DB is part bettering yourself so that you will be a better person regardless of what happens but also in hopes that your spouse sees the changes and decides to try and work things out. My wifes biggest complaints was that I was never open to her was very critical and argued alot with her, that I never did things around the house unless she nagged me, that i never compliment her or supported her. I am doing 180's on these things, I am not critical of her and if she gets angry at something I did I admit I am wrong instead of justifying my actions like i did in the past. I will sometimes ask if she needs help with anything...not everytime i see her but once everyother week. If she asks me to help her out then i do it instead of complaining like i did in our marriage. I am supportive of her not and compliment her when I get the chance. The old me would be like screw your plan..i want to go to florida you change your schedule...what good would that do? All that would do would make her more angry. Instead I choose to comprimise.....my vaction to florida could easily be done another weekend...her going out dancing with her friends does not happen very often due to them having kids to and finding the time to go.

Custody is I get them Tues till 8pm and fridays over night and bring them back in the morning saturday. I can also get them everyother saturday but it states that I need to build up to that instead of just going right into keeping them all day. I have been working a second job on sat so that has not happened yet and will change once the new schedule takes effect. Instead of getting them sat i had been getting them on days i had off that were not Fri or tues. I want a more structured schedule so it does not impact the kids so that is why i want to do the sat thing.