Life as an Authentically Living LBS.

[ericmsant2]

Heather

that women have a hard time understanding how a passionate affair (even when the WAS is convinced it's love) doesn't really represent real love

Not sure I agree with this ^^^

Not sure I could ever trust him again. Not sure I will ever trust anyone again.

YOU can but it is NOT easy...then again, anything worth anything is not easy. eh?

I hate that he has done this to me and the kids. Left a mark that will be with us forever.

I sooo get this..That said, "done this to me"..is a victim mentality. Yes the mark will be with your for a while but YOU and only YOU can determine...how long, how you deal with, and IF and HOW you allow it to change you.

Not sure I would ever deal with my Dad's betrayal/my abandonment, though, if this had never happened.

And if there is ever a silver lining in all of this crap..maybe this is it. Maybe it really is time for you to deal with the past abondoment issues. Maybe this is truly the gift you were given. Yes it [censored] how/the manner it was given..but it was given none the less.

Maybe, just maybe he will see the light?

Doubt it. Chances are it will be viewed as manipulative. He is on his journey you are on yours now.

Why do I have this history of men who have MLC and walk away?

It is NOT YOUR history. You did not make them have thier crisis.

Is this true for everyone?

A lot of people have issues. I would say that for a while that I felt the way you did about women. Why did mom leave me..why did my W leave me, why did every female figure in my life abondon me?

After a lot of soul searching I came to realize it was NOT ME. It was really not my fault. I came to realize that not every women would leave me. It was what it was. It was the cards that God dealt me. In a wierd way, I came to realize that it as horrible as it was..help shaped who I am today. And I like me!

Abondoment is horrible...but it can be overcome. YOU can grown from this and you can have a happy and healthy life.

I think Anderson's book will help

EXCELLENT book. It actually helps explain some of the chemical reactions we go through as the LBS.

I don't want that. I want to move through this as best I can to help my girls recover and, eventually, have successful relationships themselves. I actually do have faith this is possible.

Then don't accept it! Promise YOURSELF that you will be/do your best. Your girls will look to you as the role model. Model your life they way you want to live it. As for your H..leave him be...leave him in God hands.

God Bless,
Eric