Life as an Authentically Living LBS.

[LoisB]

Thanks for all the information, support and suggestions. I took a look at both Pittman's and Anderson's book. I ordered both!

Sounds like H's affair is of the Romantic variety which really hurts. Never thought he could love anyone the way he loved me--but it did register that these romances fade away and the WAS is left with a pretty brutal reality. It also registered that women seem to take affairs more seriously than men--that women have a hard time understanding how a passionate affair (even when the WAS is convinced it's love) doesn't really represent real love--AND that the WAS usually sees this truth and begin to value what he/she sacrificed.

Not sure I could ever trust him again. Not sure I will ever trust anyone again. I hate that he has done this to me and the kids. Left a mark that will be with us forever.

And, he was there when my Dad did the same thing. How could he put me through this again, knowing how painful it was the first go around. Not sure I would ever deal with my Dad's betrayal/my abandonment, though, if this had never happened.

But, will keep going forward and read, read, read. My first instinct when reading Pittman's clip on Romantic Love was to send it to H. Maybe, just maybe he will see the light? In my case, I know the drugs play a big part in the attraction. Maybe that's a blessing. With my dad, no drugs were involved. He just felt that he completely loved his secretary and it tore my mom up in a million different ways.

Why do I have this history of men who have MLC and walk away? Is this true for everyone? My H, Dad and Grandpa... weird. I think Anderson's book will help. My mom is still stuck in some ways--I can still hear in her voice, the pain and attempts to understand how my dad could betray her. I don't want that. I want to move through this as best I can to help my girls recover and, eventually, have successful relationships themselves. I actually do have faith this is possible.

Thanks again,

Heather