FY, You may have made her path a little bit easier, but if she does have childhood issues to deal with, you could not have lessened the severity or completely prevented her mlc. We all go through a life transition at various stages in our lives. Unfortunately, your wife is one those individuals who could not navigate her life's transitions well and that's one of the reasons why she ran.
For those w/less severe issues to resolve, mlc is just a blip on the radar screen. We may go out and purchase a new car, remodel our home, take an extended vacation, fish or garden more, pick up hobbies and become obsessed w/them until we have navigated our transition, but we don't run. We may think about it, but we turn our focus to other less severe forms of work to help us through this time. Those who run away and act out are the individuals who have deep, deep issues and they never learned how to convey properly their thoughts/emotions/feelings to their parents/authority figures along the way as they grew up.
You did not fail, you were a great husband/friend to her. The only way that you can assist her now is provide her plenty of space and time to work through her issues. If she should talk to you about her feelings and where her life is taking her, provide validation. If she does something that helps you along the way, thank her. She needs this affirmation. Be a friend to her and really listen to what she's saying when she does speak to you. Many times, if you can sift through the mlc garbage that comes out of her mouth, you'll discover some things that she won't come out and tell you directly.
Keep the focus on you and your family. Your journey is not over yet and neither is hers. No one can predict what the future holds, but we must stay positive.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
