First off i had a session with Laurie over the phone and it went well. I think I know where I need to go from here and how to act. She gave me some guidance and kind of put my mind at ease. Basically I am to continue what I am doing now but kind of back off just a little bit. LRT is not a good option right now just keep doing my 180's etc.
So the interesting part. My cousin who lives in Panama City has been asking for me to come down for the weekend and just relax. She lives right off the beach and said it would be good for me to just get away from the whole situation. After everything that I have found out I made a decision that I would try and get off this saturday from my second job and leave friday and come back sunday....my birthday is sunday fyi so this was kinda like a self present...when I dropped the kids off i mentioned it to my wife. I told her I planned on going to florida this weekend and I may not be able to take the kids friday that I would take them another day. She asked is it for work of fun...i said fun. She seemed OK about it and didnt seem bothered....well little did i know it infurated her.....I knew going in that there was a slim chance of me getting off this sat and I kinda wanted to see how she would react.
Fastforward 20 min later....i go on her facebook account and see she had posted a message just before I dropped the kids off asking what band would be playing at a festival this friday because she was looking to go out dancing.
The next post was right after i left..."must be nice being a dad where you get to choose when you be a father. But I am a mom and i have to be a mom all the time".
Also she sent a message to one of her girlfriends telling her that its funny how i cant give her money but I can go and take a trip to florida (first off i give her more money than i am required to give based off the child support part in the divorce papers)...That she hopes I get laid so that I would leave her alone...then follows that up with that is not nice i just had a bad day.
Here is the text messages back and forth from her and me
Me: "I am sorry i didnt realize you wanted to go dancing friday i will just hold off till November its not a big deal. Why didnt you just say something when I mentioned it you would not have made me angry. I should have communicated it to you earlier that is my bad. You deserve to go out and have fun.
Her: "I dont care. I can bring the kids. My girlfriend will have hers.
Me: "its ok i would rather spending time with the kid. you have them most of the week bringing them would make it difficult to have fun....you would spend most of the night chasing them around.
Me: "also i changed my schedule so that I am off saturday. If you dont mind would it be ok for me to start having them every other saturday?
Her: " I am find. Just had a bad day. Really go its your Birthday.
Her: "about saturday we will have to see because youngest is having a hard time already.
Me: "I am sorry you had a bad day all the more reason to go out and have fun. As for my birthday i have had 30 others i am not too worried.
Her: "maybe we could start with you getting them a half day on saturday
Me: "that is a good idea. Dont want to rock the boat.
Her: "no really go I will be fine I promise.
Her: "i took the post off facebook I did not mean to me mean. I am sorry.
Me: " i was in the wrong I didnt even consider you had plans. That was selfish of me.
Her: "i am PMSing, weaning off zoloft and in pain"
Me: "ouch must be tough being a woman. That and weaning off antidepressants can be a biznitch."
Her: "seriously go if you can. I would probably come home at 8 anyways"
Me: "honestly the chances of someone taking my terrible shift on sat would be slim to none. I would rather go when I have a definate.
Her: Well if someone taks it go you can see the kids before or after you get back.
Her: "the cake you brought was good. Thanks"
Me: "thank you very much that is very thoughtful of you. I really do appreciate it. And I am glad you enjoyed the cake. I saw it was chocolate and knew you would enjoy it"
Me: "well good night had 4 hours of sleep last night and am exhausted"
Her: "Okay good night"
End
The conversation started off bad and towards the end she seem to open up. Telling me how she felt, even going into personal things that you dont tell just any person. She even took the time to thank me for bringing her cake which i tought she would not even mention. All in all i think it went well. I maybe reading too much into her but part of me thinks she got upset at the thought of me going out of town and having fun(she does not know my cousin lives in florida)....her comment about me going out and getting laid was kind of weird.
I dont know thoughts?
M:30 W:31 D:6&1 S:3 Married 9 years 8/8/2012 ILYBNILWY Bomb Dropped: July 2012 Legally Separated: 8/3/2012
