Keep breathing...

[mamabird]

thank you Vero. I know the risks of snooping, but I am a person who'd rather know than be in the dark. Good riddance to this "friend" and I can't wait to tell her off someday. I am learning I'm a "don't get mad, get even" kind of person.

Thinking more about my sitch. One thing I wish my H understood is the extreme amount of stress we've been under in the past few years, and what kind of effect that can have on a M. First I got breast cancer while I was pregnant. Once we recovered from that, H went into a crisis around being abandoned by his mother, triggered by the cancer (still hasn't dealt with it I don't think). Then along came OM1, who had his opening because H was so withdrawn. H never got over that either and I wasn't exactly able to be there for him then.

Then we bought this house that we couldn't really afford and spent money that we didn't have fixing it. Then my son had a problem with another kid at school with psycho parents and they called child protective services. Then my job went to hell and I became even more miserable than I already was, and couldn't turn to H for support. And we got to hate each other pretty much. OM2 came along to seal the deal I guess.

But it's still my personality and character that's causing all the problems in the R. The fact that he thinks that is absurd.

I said this a long time ago, but will say it again. My mom's boyfriend, who is an 80-year-old lothario/dirty old man, said to me, "Why would you want to be with someone so weak?" Unfortunately he's right. I think my H can be very weak sometimes, and then I have to ask myself the question again.