About to separate....

[mamabird]

You are right at the beginning of your sitch. At the beginning of mine there was tons of yelling, tons of arguing, tons of crying. Changes take time. Months. Not days or weeks. Months or years.

The hard part about all this DB is that you have to be strong enough to make the changes and to ride it out at the same time. You will have to endure more BS from your W than you ever thought possible. She is on a crazy train right now.

Just to give you some examples of what happened with me, at first my H was like, all cool with everything. Don't worry, we'll be best friends. Then he started freaking out, threatening, demeaning me, name calling, throwing stuff, being a total a-hole. He did this at least 3 times in the first 3 months of our sitch. When he wasn't doing this, he was either not looking at me or downright ignoring me, or leaving the house when I was there (we separated for 3 months). He also sent nasty texts quite frequently. I had to put all of this aside for the sake of DB.

Now things are much quieter. He's still not in a very good place but I'm reaching some of my small milestones like having him eat dinner with us. He's confused and depressed. I am trying to love him through it but give him space at the same time and it's hard. He may very well file. Who knows.

Key is to be strong for YOU and for your kids. She will notice as soon as she gets her head out of her butt, and that may take a while. Get inspiration from some of the male DB'ers here. They are strong!