Keep breathing...

[mamabird]

Here's tonight's update. This story just keeps getting more interesting. Sorry, it's super long but I like to journal and need to keep a record of all of this stuff.

We all ate dinner and watched the debates together. After dinner, H had the option of going in "his" (formerly "our") bedroom to finish watching, but he didn't. He had washed all the dishes and ran the dishwasher when I got home with the boys and had cleaned up the yard too.

More lies revealed - he promised he'd stop going to the trainer for financial reasons but I saw a text from her today. He had an appointment with her AND never even showed up! Wow!

Trainer is a friend of his from high school and he said, "Campout went fine. Just underscored a lot stuff, like how much I love the boys. Which makes all these moves so hard."

Another interesting text as of last week to a woman who's also going through a divorce (a parent at the school, now at least I know not to trust her) - He told HER he was waiting because I hadn't accepted that he wanted a D, and he wanted to sort out his own BS and be less depressed and more centered. But he told POW 2 days later that he was waiting because his L told him to.

No further communications with POW or anyone else, but looks like he was seeing POW a lot over the summer. And it's clear how much he likes her. They have a bond and it's probably EA but I don't see evidence of PA.

One thing that irks me more than just about anything, even more than POW, is a friend of ours (at least I thought she was my friend) who is clearly taking H's "side". It is so backhanded and mean, and what a horrible friend she has turned out to be. They get together, she calls, she texts. I have known this woman since the 5th grade. I gave her a job at my company once. We were never great friends, but it's good to know where I stand with her and boy is she going to hear from me once this is over. I am so tempted to give her a piece of my mind right now but I know I need to wait. I should have answered H's phone when she called on it half an hour ago. I even called her a month or two ago when I found out she had plans with H and I guess she two-faced me then.

I emailed a friend of mine tonight - a lawyer who recently got divorced herself. Asked her for a lawyer reco. No way will I be a sitting duck. I want to be armed and ready if and when H drops the bomb. It feels good and empowering to be taking preventative action, even though I would rather be doing anything but that. I can't take the risk of being unprepared though. I feel like the US and Russia one upping each other with nukes at the ready. How long did it take them to finally get to peace talks?

Your H may be depressed. You guys have had a lot of turmoil in the past year or so. And you may want to make sure you are not depressed as well, even though you think you are not, especially because of how awful you feel/felt by H's lack of loving and respect. It may be worthwhile being sure.

H takes antidepressants now and I'm glad of it. He's in a better place. My IC does not say I'm depressed and it actually has never come up. I was actually in a worse place before this happened and yes, I probably felt depressed, which gave OM2 a perfect opening.

Vero, my BS meter is usually pretty good, but I have to say I'm highly disappointed about my H's lying. Now granted, I have not been an angel and I did lie to him about OM1. No lies about OM2.

Regarding the snooping. I know it's wrong, but I guess I'm feeling that knowledge is power at this point. Now I know there's a REAL possibility of him filing (also found out he actually contacted his L for the first time on June 15th, but then accused me of going to a L in MC in July and said he hadn't seen one yet!), I know not to trust him and I know what "friends" of mine not to trust. At this point I have to protect myself and my boys. Period. And if it takes snooping, so be it.