About to separate....

[dorightman]

Long talk tonight, calm and honest. She said I'm a crazy person that keeps running into a brick wall. She said she is totally shut down from me and I'm in denial. Even though I said it takes work to get through the hard stuff in marriages, she said what if one person isn't willing to do the work. She said she isn't willing, that she has tried and it's too late. She said "it would take 5 years for you to change, do you really think I should wait around for 5 years?" I said I could change faster then that, but she doesn't believe me. I validated her feelings, told her I have work to do on myself. She said she wants to see a mediator so that I would find out what I legally need to pay her. She said she never was "in love with me" . Because I was not able to really see her. I was not able to connect to her emotionally and I was critical of her for the entire marriage. Her friendship with her girlfriend is just a close friendship. I was tripping. I don't feel like giving up. I guess I'm gonna keep hitting that brick wall for awhile. Oh Lord!