Can This Be Salvaged?

[leopoldstotch]

Leo


FTR, it is very hard to DB a marriage if you are not sure if you really want to be in it. Personally, I think you need to figure that out first.

A slave cannot serve two masters. You either want to save it or you don't. Your call.

Eric that's what I'm trying to figure out now. It's probably going to me some time to figure out if I truly want to be in this M anymore. I have have no doubt in my mind what I would like out of a marriage but I'm not convinced it will ever be with my W. I just don't believe she is capable of it.

So what are doing to make sure that you do not go back to those old behaviors?

For starters I no longer react to her when she is angry. That is a 180 for me. Whenever my W would get mad and fly off the handle I would in turn do the same thing. I have stopped doing that a long time ago as I've grown tired of the cycle. The bad part is she still likes to fly off the handle but it doesn't last as long since I don't react to her. I treat her like a friend now. I try to strike up conversations with her sometimes she will engage sometimes she won't. I'm more upbeat and truly am happy with how I am even though it means nothing to my W. One thing I've learned is I'm changing for ME and nobody else.

This didn't break overnight and it is not gonna get fixed overnight. It take CONSISTENT actions OVER A LONG period of time.

Personally, I think you can do it...but that's just me..and hey what do I know..I'm just some typing on my machine.

Eric

Thanks for having the confidence in me to do this. I also know that you are right and that this could take a very long time to turn around but I keep thinking that my W will never be the W that I wish she could be and I'm not talking about sex every night. Affectionate, loving wanting to spend time together things like that are things I have trouble envisioning her doing.