If H helped break up OW's marriage then he is a real POS in my opinion. I have zero sympathy for homewreckers.
I've never asked H about what really led up to OWs divorce. All I know is that they talked while she was having issues with her ex. He told me some of what was going on and I didn't question their friendship. I just didn't expect it to be more than friendship.
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You're still intimate- this is what is referred to around here as "cake eating" because he's having his cake (OW) and eating it too (you). That's clearly not helping your situation so you need to ask yourself if you want to continue that. If it's hurting you emotionally then you might consider discontinuing that.
During the first couple of weeks of the initial blow, I wasn't going to be intimate with him anymore. But, then I came to the conclusion that I needed the intimacy and closeness even if it didn't mean the same thing to him. I know that it's risky but I'm taking full advantage of his desire to be with me because we still have a fantastic connection in the bedroom.
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H agreed to anniversary dinner. I asked for it since it may be our last.
Don't assume that. None of us can read the future.
Since H has been working nights and spending the night with his buddies, I wasn't sure how he would respond to my request to the anniversary dinner. So, I phrased it that way to him. I know I probably shouldn't have done it that way but he agreed. Later, he questioned how the night would turn out. I was honest and told him that all I wanted for us to enjoy the evening together. No strings, no battles.
Yesterday, while H and I were texting (he initiated), he mentioned meeting up with me at work for lunch (which he's never done). I told him to let me know because I was going to bring something just in case he couldn't make it. When he sent me a text today, I asked if he was still going to meet up and he said yes, if I wanted to because he wasn't hungry. Long story short, he picked me up and we had an enjoyable lunch together. I was positive, acted "as if" we weren't having problems, and let him lead the conversation.
H also mentioned that when the other project is done (the one that's nights/weekends) he make bring his buddy's cat back home but he's not sure how it would work out since his mom is allergic to siamese cats. But then he threw in the "unless I have my own place by then." So there's a good chance that he's going to be back home. I've just got to stay positive but not over do it.
What really surprised me is that after he left, he actually stepped out of his comfort zone and sent me a racy text I was shocked and turned on all at the same time (I've sent them before and he never played along) . We didn't get the chance to play to much (bad timing) before he nixed playtime. I did tell him I enjoyed the exchange and that I appreciated how he stepped out of his comfort zone to send me the racy text.
Am I wrong to look at this as a positive or is it a game? I want to believe that it's a positive step forward.
Me39 H35 M8 T14 Early 5/12 H FB post re: his love for me. End 5/12 H done trying, writes "Dear John" letter 6/12 Wants D, calls ATTY, no file 1/13 Loves me, wants to try, moves home 3/13 Changes mind
I was positive, acted "as if" we weren't having problems, and let him lead the conversation. 
. We didn't get the chance to play to much (bad timing) before he nixed playtime. I did tell him I enjoyed the exchange and that I appreciated how he stepped out of his comfort zone to send me the racy text.
