However my XH addiction is online gaming. World of Warcraft to be exact. Reading about your H and OW is like hearing about my XH and his OW, but just a different addiction. In order to help me understand better, I've read up on addictions!
I have to remind myself that our marriage was pretty good up until that game took over his life. Gaming 18 hours a day. Personality change. And I enabled him...because he was at home infront of me. Not out chopping lines, or shooting up. I was in denial about what an addiction this really was.
Guess what OW is the exact same! Wow Addict. XH is a functional addict. OW is expecting XH to support her 100% financially so she can stay home and game all day. He's refusing to do it, now she's got a job. From what I understand her pay goes to spoiling her kids and not contributing to their finances. It really is a fine mess over there.
At any rate, once you finally get to understanding yourself, your XH, and your dynamic, letting go of all the BS you put up from them with just starts to happen naturally. It doesn't make all the crap that happened OK, but once you understand the dynamics of your tango, It's a relief.! Yet still emotional when you realize things you did, never meant to because you didn't know any better.
Remember WE ARE HUMAN. WE MAKE MISTAKES. WE AREN'T PERFECT. PRACTICE FORGIVENESS AND EMULATE LOVE, IT WILL COME BACK TO YOU.
This is where I am with XH. Im putting all that crap from the past to rest. Im done with it. Im exhausted from it. I understand why it happened. I never wanted that kind of relationship with him in the first place, and I surely don't want that kind of relationship with him now or in the future. Right now I feel like I've done alot of the work I need to do on myself to keep me on my path just going forward.
My XH....he's starting to wake up a bit, but still has work to do. Still has issues to resolve within himself through relationship with OW. I pray he finds his self worth through himself instead of through her and other people. He's a very smart man with many good qualities, he just lost his path. Unfortuneatly when it comes to these sort of things, it takes a serious WAKE UP CALL for XH to see things. He can do it, it just takes him a while, and also it takes him the ability to quit hiding.
