I really like the humor part. You defuse a tense subject which makes everything a bit easier. Very calculated and methodical. I got a chuckle out of your note in the pocket comment. The verbiage that Denver gave me a coule weeks ago was in my pocket the last time I had a conversation with W. I never had to use it but it was good to have.
Your right though AT, I can NEVER anticipate everything that will come up but I CAN better prepare myself. I am not going to sweat it too much because I have the validating down, I have the “I need to think about it down.” I am now armed with a full arsenal after AT's and Denver's posts. Complete deflection isn't the right approach with that kind of question. You said it was blunt, I agree. I've heard a lot of the words used to many of you fine people over and over again. The selected words I want to incorporate will just flow, there ingrained in my head. I still think that listening and validating her feelings is the most important. Thanks all!
My IC and I are both big fans of the humor thing during these situations... Obviously you don't want to overdo it and become a comedian, but it's a fantastic way to change the dynamic of the conversation.
I think you're already in a good place and well prepared for this Rough. Get a ton of rest tonight, maybe get up early tomorrow and "sweat it out" for a while (Run, Bike, Jumping Jacks, Kickboxing, Dig an enormous hole in you backyard)... just get your head on straight.
Like Denver said, only deflect if you're completely unprepared to answer or if it's something that you truly don't know how you want to answer. Deflection is a tool to be used wisely, but it's not a substitute for honesty about your feelings or thoughts on the situation, especially if you're prepared to answer what she's bringing up.
I'll be thinking of you tomorrow, but I know you'll be great.
