Keep breathing...

[hopefulinga]

I've been struggling with the same thing, and I talked to my IC about it today. I want to be emotionally available and supportive, but I want to detach. So, I've got to accept whatever the outcome is and realize that I can't control it. I've been trying to be a "friend" to listen when H makes commentary and I try to reflect back or support what he is saying. I think you've been doing some of that as well.

I think to also work on not letting his emotions affect yours is helping to detach as well. While I am not trying to fool myself, when I think positive thoughts and think that we've been through so much, we can make it this time, I feel better and treat H a lot better.

Your H may be depressed. You guys have had a lot of turmoil in the past year or so. And you may want to make sure you are not depressed as well, even though you think you are not, especially because of how awful you feel/felt by H's lack of loving and respect. It may be worthwhile being sure.